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COPYRIGHT DEPOSrr. 



LOVERS' LANE 

A FLAY IN FOUR ACTS 

BY 
CLYDE FITCH 




BOSTON 
LITTLE, BROWN, AND COMPANY 






n 



\V 



Copyright, 1915, 

By little, brown, AND COMPANY, 

AND ALICE M. FITCH. 



This play is fully protected by the copyright law, all requirements 
of which have been complied with. In its present printed form it is 
dedicated to the reading public only, and no performance of it, either 
professional or amateur, may be given without the written permission 
of the owner of the acting rights, who may be addressed in care of the 
publishers, Little, Brown, and Company. 




10/9/5 
ICI,A420439 



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LOITERS' LANE 



ACT I. The Parsonage. 

ACT II. The Main Street. 

ACT III. Autumn in the Orchard. 

ACT IV. Sl'RING IN THE ORCHARD. 



At EDDYSVIt.LE. 



THE PERSONS IN THE PLAY 

The Rev. Thomas Singleton. The Mittister, graduate 

of Amherst, '86. 
Herbert Woodbridge. From Neiv York. 
Uncle Bill. The church bell-ringer ; of the Minister'' s 

household. 

HosEA Brown. The storekeeper. 

Mr. Skillig. Manager of the Opera House. 

Deacon Steele. Head Deacon of the Church. 

Billy 1 

1^ Eddysville boys. 
Harry J 

Dick Woodbridge. 

Mary Larkin. From the Students' League of New York. 

Mrs. Herbert Woodbridge. The Alto of the choir : later 

of the Minister's household. 
Simplicity Johnson. Fror/i; the Orphan Asylu»i ; of the 

Minister's household. 
Miss Mattie. The Minister's housekeeper. 
Aunt Melissy. From the poorhouse ; of the Minister's 

household. 
Bridget. The cook from the hospital : of the Minister's 

household. 



214 THE PERSONS IN THE PLAY 

Mrs. Lane. Herbert Woodln-idge's sister, from New York. 

Mrs. Hosea Brown. Social leader of Eddysville. 

Miss Molly Mealey. The schoolmistress. 

Mrs. Steele. Chairwoman of the Sewing Circle. 

Mrs. Jennings. The dressmaker, zvith latest styles from 

Boston ; goes tiuice a year to the City. 
Bessie Steele. A schoolgirl. 



Produced at the Manhattan Theatre, New York, 
on P'ebruary 6, 1901, with the following cast : — 

The Rev. Thomas Singleton Ernest Hastings 

Herbert Woodbridge Edward J. Radcliffe 

Uncle Bill R. L. Stockwell 

Hosea Brown Frank Hatch 

Mr. Skillig Charles W. Swain 

Deacon Steele Julian Barton 

Billy William Betts 

Harry James Coyle 

Dick Woodbridge Herbert Halliday 

Mary Larkin Nanette Comstuck 

Mrs. Herbert Woodbridge Brandon Douglas 

Simplicity Johnson Millie James 

Aunt Melissy Agnes Findlay 

Mattie Sadie Stringham 

Bridget Lizzie Conway 

Mrs. Lane Rachel Sterling 

Mrs. Hosea Brown Zelda Sears 

Miss Molly Mealey Emily Wakeman 

Mrs. Steele Annie Mifflin 

Mrs. Jennings Lillian Lee 

Bessie Steele ... = ...... Lillian Sinnott 



ACT I 

Scene : The Minister's Study. A pleasant, 
sunny room. The Minister's desk, littered with 
interrupted work, and his chair are by the 
window, Right. Left is a " parlor organ." In 
the Centre is a large round table, with a green 
wool cover, a " studenfs lamp," books, a ruler, 
a vase of garden flowers, etc. A rocking-chair, 
two small chairs and a low stool are beside it. 
Back, between two windows, a loiv bookcase. In 
front of one window, toward Right back, is a hair- 
cloth sofa. In the other sunny window is a 
green ''shelf" flower stand, filled with pots of 
geranium, fuchsia, and heliotrope, etc. Cheap, 
217 



21 8 LOVERS' LANE 

but very dean, lace curtains are " looped back " at 
the windows. On the walls are a few engrav- 
ings, and a faded family photograph in an oval 
gilt frame. _ There is an air of cheerfulness and 
comfort. Enter Miss Mattie, folloived by 
Bridget, who stops, her face hidden in her apron, 
weeping. Mattie talking in a steady stream. 
Mattie. Don't answer me back, Bridget. I 
won't listen to you. Do you hear me? I have 
told you time and time again I won't have that 
child in the kitchen. For goodness' sake, where is 
she ? [Calls.] Simplicity ! Simplicity ! [Enter 
Simplicity, weeping.] Oh, here you are! Well, 
come right along, you naughty girl ! I want 
you to see what your disobedience has brought 
to others as well as yourself and — Don't break 
in while I am talking, Bridget — and put your 
apron down. [Bridget drops her apron for the 



LOVERS' LANE 219 

first time from her face and shows it distorted with 
grief.] And stop making faces at me, Bridget. 

Bridget. [Crying.] I'm not making faces, 
ma'am, I'm waping. 

Mattie. Don't answer me back. Ain't you 
ashamed of yourself to let that child stay in the 
kitchen when you know she's been forbidden to 
go there? What was she doing? 

Bridget. Oh, plaze, ma'am, you'll discharge 
me if I tell you. 

Mattie. I'll discharge you if you don't. 

Bridget. Oh, well, then, ma'am, I was bakin* 
her a wee bit of cake. 

Mattie. [Coming to the front of the table — 
staggered.] What ! You were, were you ? Do 
you know that's stealing? Bridget O'Hara! 
And you living here under the same roof with 
Mr. Singleton ! — and listening to his sermons 



220 LOVERS' LANE 

every Sunday! Bridget, you take a week's 

notice. 

Bbidget. Thank you, ma'am, but — 

Mattie. Stop asking me to take you back. 
Go pack your trunk and don't you let me set 
eyes on your face again as long as I live. 

[Bridget goes out. 

Bridget. [From outside.] You won't let me 
get a word in edgeways. 

Mattie. [To Simplicity.] Come here ! [Sim- 
plicity comes toward her, sucking her thumb.] 
Take your thumb out of your mouth. Nice 
thing for a girl of eleven to be doing. Sucking 
your thumb ! Now ain't it? 

Simplicity. [Backing away — guardedly.] Yes'm. 

Mattie. [Following.] I said no ! 

Simplicity. Yes'm. 

Mattie. Say no. 



LOVERS' LANE 221 

Simplicity. No! 
Mattie. Ma'am ! 
Simplicity. Ma'am. 

[Backing to organ and dodging behind it. 
Mattie. Land, where is your tongue? 

[Following around the table. 
Simplicity. Where my thumb was. 
Mattie. Don't you dare to be saucy to me ! 
[Simplicity keeps on dodging Miss Mattie.] Why 
don't you say something? 

Simplicity. [Stops at the table and sneaks away 
the ruler.] Ain't got nothing to say. 

Mattie. [Up in the air.] Say you're sorry. 
Ain't you sorry? 

Simplicity. No, ma'am. [Sees her mistake. 
Mattie. What ! Very well, we'll see if we can 
make you sorry. [Pointing toward the table.] Get 
me the ruler. 



222 LOVERS' LANE 

Simplicity. 'Tain't there. 

Mattie. How do you know it ain't ? [Goes to 
the table.] Where is it? 

{Searching the table. 

Simplicity. [Keeping the ruler behind her.] 
Burnt up. 

Mattie. What! 

Simplicity. To help bake the cake with. 

Mattie. You impudent child ! Come here. 
[She leans on the desk-table and takes off her 
slipper.] Why ain't you sorry? 

Simplicity. [Crying.] 'Cause Pops told me to 
go to the kitchen and tell Bridget to make the 
cake. 

Mattie. My brother Tom did? 

Simplicity. Yes, ma'am. 

Mattie. Why didn't you tell me that be- 
fore? 



LOVERS' LANE 223 

Simplicity. [Crying.] 'Cause you didn't ask 
me. 

Mattie. Why didn't Bridget tell me? 

Simplicity. 'Cause you didn't give her a 
chance. [Mattie shows temper.] Bridget says the 
only way she could ever answer you back is by 
speaking first. 

Mattie. [Advancing.] Oh ! she said that, did 
she? [Drops her slipper on the table and starts 
for the door.] I was going to take her back, but 
I won't now. 

[Steps on imaginary pin. Simplicity picks up 
the slipper. 

Simplicity. Won't you? 

Mattie. [Almost at the door.] No, I won't! 

Simplicity. Won't you? 

[She hides the slipper behind her back, and 

looks out of the window. 



224 LOVERS' LANE 

Mattie. No, I won't. 

Simplicity. Won't you? Oh, there's company 
coming ! 

Mattie. [Hopping around on one foot.] Com- 
pany ? Good gracious ! Where is my slipper ? 

[She falls on her hands and knees, hunting under 
the table. 

Simplicity. [Dancing with glee.] If I find your 
slipper for you, will you take Bridget back? 

Mattie. [On her knees, searching all around.] 
No, I won't. [Getting up.] I believe you've got 
that slipper. Have you ? 

Simplicity. Yes, ma'am. 

Mattie. For the land's sake ! Give it to me at 
once. [Starting after Simplicity. 

Simplicity. [Dodging away from Mattie to the 
window.] Not unless you take Bridget back. I 
guess they're city folks. 



LOVERS' LANE 225 

Mattie. You give me that slipper, you wicked 
girl. [Running after Simplicity.] I'll tell the 
Minister, just as soon as he comes in, to punish 
you — and for fear he won't do it, I'll do it myself. 

[She chases Simplicity across the room. Enter 
Minister. 

Minister. Why Mattie! Mattie! What's 
the matter ? 

Simplicity. I've been bad ! 

[She throws the slipper at Mattie. 

Minister. What ! Again ? 

Simplicity. Yes, sir. Again ! 

Mattie. [Putting on her slipper.] • You'd bet- 
ter make her learn another chapter in the Bible, 
Tom. 

Minister. My dear Mattie, if we always pun- 
ished her that way, she would soon know the 
whole Old Testament, and be tripping you and 



226 LOVERS' LANE 

me up. That's all right, Mattie. [He sits down 

at the table.] I'll punish her. 

Mattie. [Comes over to him.] I'm sort of sus- 
picious of your punishments, Tom. But first I 
want to tell you about Bridget. She — is — 
so — 

Minister. [Waving her away.] Not now ! 
Not now ! I must get to work on to-morrow's 
sermon. I haven't begun it yet. 

Mattie. What's the subject, Tom? 

Minister. [Thoughtfully.] "Is there an actual 
Purgatory or not? " 

Simplicity. Course there is. [Going over to 
him.] You just ask the matron of the Asylum 
where I used to be. What she don't know about 
Purgatory ain't worth talking about. 

Mattie. [Aghast.] Why, Simplicity! You 
don't know what you're saying. 



LOVERS' LANE 227 

Simplicity. Don't I ? Guess you'd think so if 
you'd been at the Asylum. 

Mattie. Tom, you punish that child before 
you begin. It will tone you up. 

[Goes out. 

Minister. Come here. [Ttirns his chair to- 
ward Simplicity.] Come here and be punished. 

Simplicity. [Going over to the Minister.] 
Pops ! I'm awful sorry. 

Minister. Then kiss me. [She kisses him.] 
There, now you're punished. What was it you 
did? 

Simplicity. Miss Mattie discharged Bridget, 
and I teased her to make her take her back ! 

Minister. Was that it? Then you may kiss 
me again, Miss. [Simplicity kisses him and sits 
down beside him.] And now say, "I'll try not to 
tease Miss Mattie any more." 



228 LOVERS' LANE 

Simplicity. I've said it once before, to-day, 
Pops, but it don': seem to do much good. 

Minister. I guess it does as much good as 
learning a chapter in the Bible, and you can say it 
quicker. Come on now. 

Simplicity. I'll try not to tease Miss Mattie 
any more. 

Minister. And try hard ! You try hard ! 

Simplicity. Pops, is Miss Mattie really your 
sister ? 

Minister. No. 

Simplicity. Then what is she? 

[Sprawling on table. 

Minister. She is my brother-in-law's second 
wife's step- sister. 

Simplicity. [Confused.] Oh — 

[Rises; goes all around the table, looking under 
the edge for chewing-gum. 



LOVERS' LANE 229 

•Minister. Yes, and she doesn't get on with her 

step-sister, my brother-in-law's second wife, so 

that she hasn't any other home, and lives here 

with me. Now I must get to work on my sermon. 

Simplicity. [Back of Minister, with her arms 
aromid his neck] Then you've just given her a 
home, as you've taken in Aunt Melissy and Uncle 
Bill and me. Pops? 

Minister. She says it's you and Uncle Bill 
and Aunt Melissy who've taken me in. There ! 
There ! I must get to work ! [Starts to ivrile, 
Simplicity looking over his shoulder.] I don't 
believe there's a Purgatory, Simple. 

Simplicity. Don't you. Pops? [Glancing 
around, as if looking for Miss Mattie.] Then 
where will Miss Mattie go when she dies ? 

Minister. Simplicity ! Now you stop — stop 
— or I'll punish you again. I must get to work ! 



230 LOVERS' LANE 

[Enter Bridget, snifflin'g. 
Bridget. If you plaze, sorr, — 
Minister. What is it, Bridget? 
Bridget. [Sniffling.] If you plaze, sorr, a 
Committee from the Choir 's outside in the hall 
waitin' to see you. 

Minister. I'm very busy just now, but you can 
show them in, Bridget. 
Bridget. Yes, sorr. 

[Goes out. 
Minister. We must do something for that 
asthma of Bridget's. 

Simplicity. 'Tain't asthma — it's feelings — 
'cause Miss Mattie discharged her. Guess 
Bridget believes there's a Hell. 

[Bridget comes back, showing in Committee. 
Bridget. Come right into the study, plaze — 

[Sniffling. 



LOVERS' LANE 231 

[Enter Mrs. Brown arid Miss Mealey. 

Bridget goes out. 
Mrs. Brown. Good morning, Dr. Singleton ! 

[Goes over to the organ and sits on the stool. 
Miss Mealey. Good morning ! 
Simplicity. Hello ! 
[She sits on a low stool on the other side of the 

table so that it hides her from the others. 
Minister. [Rising.] Good morning. Won't 
you sit down? Won't you sit down — [As Miss 
Mealey passes him.] Your new hat's very be- 
coming, Miss Molly. 

Miss Mealey. [Sits in the easy chair.] Thanks. 
But it seems to me as if you never noticed what 
I had on. 

Minister. On the contrary, Miss Molly, every- 
thing! 
Mrs. Brown. Good gracious ! 



232 LOVERS' LANE 

Miss Mealey. [To Mrs. Brown.] I think, 
my dear, we had better speak at once of the 
matter that brought us. 

Mrs. Brown. Yes. I suppose, Minister, we 
are keeping you from finishing to-morrow's ser- 
mon ? 

Minister. [Coming up between the ladies; 
smiling.] No — from beginning it. 

Miss Mealey. What is the subject? 

Minister. "Is there an actual Purgatory or 
not?" 

Miss Mealey. S-w-ee-t! 

Mrs. Brown. Well, I hope there isn't, for 
my husband's sake ! But [rising] what we've 
come for is — [Notices Simplicity.] — Oh — 
[Whispering to Minister.] Please send that child 
out. 

Minister. Gh, yes. Simple ! 



LOVERS' LANE 233 

Simplicity. Pops ! 

Minister. You go out for a little while. 

Simplicity. What for? 

Minister. For fun. [Simplicity goes out. 
Turning to the Committee.] Is it anything seri- 
ous ? 

Miss Mealey. Very! Mrs. Woodbridge — 
our — 

Mrs. Brown. [Interrupting.] Our soprana, 
turns out to be a reg — 

Miss Mealey. [Rises — interrupting.] Per- 
fect snake in the grass. Of course we all know 
she had set her cap for you. 

Minister. Oh, come now, Miss Molly. 

Mrs. Brown. [In a loud whisper to Miss 
Mealey.] Don't be a fool, Molly Mealey — 
show him your jealousy that way ! Of course 
Molly has had to put up with her city clothes and 



234 LOVERS' LANE 

we've had to put up with her city airs^ and now 

it's got to end. 

Minister. Why, I thought everyone loved 
Mrs. Woodbridge. 

Miss Mealey. Oh, all the men do. 

Mrs. Brown. You must discharge her from 
the choir. 

Minister. I ! Why, I couldn't do such a 
thing, and I wouldn't. Why, she hasn't a cent 
in the world, except her salary, to support herself 
and her poor little lame boy. 

Miss Mealey. [Rising and going up to him.] 
Well, if you don't discharge her, we will ! 

Minister. No ! What has she done ? 

Mrs. Brown. She's divorced from her hus~ 
band I That's what she's done ! 

Miss Mealey A divorcee. '^ 

Minister. Well, maybe her husband wasn't 
all that he should be. 



LOVERS' LANE 235 

Miss Mealey. Humph! More likely she 
wasn't. They say she was an actress ! 

Mrs. Brown. Sung and danced in one of the 
continual performances ! 

Minister. I'd like to have seen her. 

[Miss Mealey and Mrs. Brown are as- 
tounded. 

Miss Mealey and Mrs. Brown. What ! 

Mrs. Brown. If she remains in the choir / 
resign now. 

[Hitting a book on the table with a bang. 

Miss Mealey. There goes the mezzer sopra- 
ner, and the whole choir has agreed to do the 
same thing. 

Minister. But, Mrs. Brown, you know what a 
splendid young woman she is. She lives with 
you ! 

Mrs. Brown. Oh, no, she doesn't. [To Min- 
ister.] I have a family of boys to bring up. 



236 LOVERS' LANE 

Besides, I have always suspected Brown was a little 

too polite to her. She's packing her trunks now. 

Minister. Really, ladies, you take my breath 
away. 

Mrs. Brown. Well, she took our'n. [Both go 
to the Minister.] Now which is it? If we go, 
the organist goes with us. Mrs. Canning says all 
the wealth of the Indies couldn't make her play 
accompaniments for a divorced voice. 

Miss Mealey. If she sings — remember. 

Mrs. Brown and Miss Mealey. We don't! 
[Going to the door.] Good morning ! 

Minister. If you're going home now, you 
might send her over to me — will you ? 

Mrs. Brown. I'll go straight home, and she 
can come here before looking for new rooms. 

Miss Mealey. [At the door.] Don't be afraid 
of hurting her feelings. 



LOVERS' LANE 237 

Minister. No. 

Mrs. Brown. We haven't been. 

Minister. So I imagine. Good-by ! 

Mrs. Brown. Good-by. [Goes out. 

Minister. Good-by, Miss Molly. 

Miss Mealey. Good-by. [Giggling, starts to 
go, turns, atid runs to the Minister, unwrapping 
large slippers and thrusting them into his hatids, 
saying:] For you — [Giggles.] For you! [Giggles 
until she is out of the door. 

Minister. Well, now we must fix this somehow 
for poor Mrs. Woodbridge. How can anyone be 
angry at Molly Mealey! [Looking at the slippers, 
he lays them on the table.] Pleasant change from 
wristlets ! They'll fit Uncle Bill. [Going toward 
the door, he calls.] Mattie! Gracious! I must 
get to work. [He sits doivn once more at his 
table. 



238 LOVERS' LANE 

[Enter Uncle Bill and Aunt Melissy. Me- 
LissY sits on stool. 

Uncle Bill. Good day, Doctor. 

Minister. Hello, Uncle Bill! Been for a 
walk? 

Uncle Bill. Yes, sir. Me and Melissy 
been for a stroll. Come along. [To Aunt 
Melissy.1 The Minister's here and he can de- 
cide for us. 

[Aunt Melissy says "H-a-y-e?" Uncle Bill 
repeats. 

Minister. [Raising his voice.] Well, Aunt 
Melissy, you and Uncle Bill haven't been having 
another argument, have you ? 

Aunt Melissy. Yes, we have. Minister. I say 
there's no such thing as love at first sight, and Mr. 
William says there is. 

Uncle Bill. I tell Melissy the very first time 



LOVERS' LANE 239 

I sot eyes on her I felt Cupid takin aim with his 
arrow right here. 

[Putting his hand on his heart. 

Aunt Melissy. [Interrupting.] I didn't think, 
Minister, when you asked me to come and Hve with 
you, I was going to have the end of my days made 
miserable by the same questions that turned their 
beginning topsy-turvy. 

Uncle Bill. That ain't the p'int — that ain't 
the p'int. The p'int is, is there such a thing as 
love at first sight? 

[Both going to the Minister ; Minister scratches 
his head. Mattie enters. 

Mattie. Now look here, Aunt Melissy and 
Uncle Bill, you mustn't interrupt the Minister. 
He's at work on to-morrow's sermon. [She 
hurries them off.] Tom, what do you think? 
Mrs. White has twins. 



240 LOVERS' LANE 

Minister. Twins? 

Mattie, I never did have any patience with 
that woman ! 

Minister. Which are they? 

Mattie. Girls — both girls ! Where will they 
ever get husbands in this town ? 

[Goes out Right. Bridget comes in Left. 

Bridget. If you plaze, sorr — Umffling] — 
the lady with a voice like a flute is askin' to see 
you. 

Minister. [7?i5g5.] Oh, Mrs. Woodbridge ! 

Bridget. Yes, sorr. 

[Sniffling. 

Minister. [Ahsent-mindedly.] Got the 

asthma, Bridget? 

Bridget. No, sorr, I've got me notice. 

Minister. [Ahsent-mindedly.] Have you taken 
anything for it ? 



LOVERS' LANE 241 

Bridget. Sure, it's me lave I've got to take. 
Minister. Oh, that's it, is it? Simple told 
me. Come here, Bridget. Don't you go! Miss 
Mattie will be sure to come around all right to- 
morrow. You leave her to me. 

Bridget. To you, sorr? Oh, the Lord bless 
you, sorr — it would break me heart to lave you, 
so it would. But what about Mrs. Woodbridge, 
sorr ? 

Minister. By Jupiter ! I forgot all about her. 
Bring her right in ! 

[Bridget starts to go out; meets Mrs. Wood- 
bridge coming in. 
Bridget. Sure, here is the lady herself. 

[Goes out. 
Mrs. Woodbridge. Good morning. Doctor. 
Minister. Won't you sit down? 

[Indicates chair by the table. 



242 ■ LOVERS' LANE 

Mrs. Woodbridge. Mrs. Brown has told you, 
Doctor? 

Minister. [Sitting on the organ bench.] Yes, 
and I want to talk over with you the best way to 
fix it. 

Mrs. Woodbridge. First, I want to tell you 
how it was I came here two years ago. I wanted 
to leave the city, where all the associations were 
most painful, and, besides, I thought my little boy 
might be stronger in the country. My husband 
— I had better be quite frank with you — my 
husband soon after our marriage began to drink 
heavily — then he lost all his money on the horses 
and — what little I had — [Rises.] Did I do 
wrong to leave him? 

Minister. [Rising and coming to Mrs. Wood- 
bridge.] Could you have helped him by holding 
on to him, I wonder? 



LOVERS' LANE 243 

Mrs. Woodbridge. [With averted face.] That's 
what I sometimes ask myself — when the old 
love for my ideal of him comes back with over- 
whelming force. 

Minister. Ah, well ! Each one's heart and 
mind is the best court for them to appeal to. 

Mrs. Woodbridge. I thought I ought at any 
rate to take the boy away before he grew old 
enough to understand. He has been baptized in 
sorrow, and I want his life to be confirmed with 
joy somewhere, or somehow — 

Minister. But he's so much better and 
brighter already. 

Mrs. Woodbridge. [Joyfully.] Oh, do you 
think so? Well, that's my story, except when I 
came here I never lied. I said I had no husband 
— I didn't think it necessary to explain more. 
But of course when I was asked whether I was a 



244 LOVERS' LANE 

widow or divorced, to-day, there was nothing to 

do but to speak the truth, which I did. 

Minister. [Takes a chair near Mrs. Wood- 
bridge.] I'm afraid you weren't prepared to find 
such good people as they are here. Really, you 
know, so narrow. Were you? [Moving towards 
her.] But I'm stretching them all I can. 

Mrs. Woodbridge. And perhaps I can be of 
some use as a wedge ? 

Minister. Well — to go back to the choir — 

Mrs. Woodbridge. I'd resign in a minute if it 
wasn't for Dick. I want to make money enough 
to have him treated. Little lame backs are 
made whole now-a-days, you know, without 
miracles. 

Minister. I know — I was thinking of that 
the other day, but I beheve it will be best to have 
you resign now, anyway, and let the congregation 



LOVERS' LANE 245 

hear Miss Mealey sing a solo again. We won't 
need much more to get them, all on our side. 

Mrs. Woodbridge. [Rising, puts out her hand.] 
How encouraging you are ! Meanwhile, I shall 
have to find some other place for Dick and me to 
live in. 

Minister. [Rises and takes her hand.] That'll 
be easy enough. 

Mrs. Woodbridge. So I thought, but on my 
way here, three ladies with empty third-floors told 
me they hadn't any rooms. 

Minister. Well, I'll tell you what — you and 
Dick come here and live with us. 

Mrs. Woodbridge. Here? Oh, no! We 
couldn't do that. 

Minister. Why not ? Miss Mattie'll make it 
all right. Come now, get Dick and your trunk, 
and stay. 



246 LOVERS' LANE 

Mrs. Woodbridge. But are you sure you've 
room ? 

Minister. Oh, yes, yes — plenty of room. 

Mrs. Woodbridge. But you have so many 
people here now. 

Minister. Why, no we haven't — no one at 
all. 

Mrs. Woodbridge. There's Miss Mattie and 
Simplicity — I know them — 

Minister. [In thought.] Oh yes, and Uncle 
Bill and Aunt Melissy, but that's all. 

Mrs. Woodbridge. Aunt Mehssy? Perhaps 
she won't like me. 

Minister. Oh, yes she will, and you'll like her, 
too. She's a nice old person, a real lady. Lost 
all her money in a bank that shut up suddenly, 
and has a perfect horror of dying in the poorhouse, 
so I told her to come and die here. 



LOVERS' LANE 247 

Mrs. Woodbridge. And did she? 

Minister. Yes, that is, she came here, but I 
am glad to say she hasn't died yet. 

Mrs. Woodbridge. And who's Uncle Bill? 

Minister. Why, you know Uncle Bill Walters ? 

Mrs. Woodbridge. Oh, the old man who rings 
the church bell ? 

Minister. Yes. He was living alone and had 
to do his own cooking — couldn't make enough 
money to pay a servant. So I told him just to 
come and live with us, and let us be company for 
him. 

Mrs. Woodbridge. [Turns to him.] How 

good of you ! 

Minister. Why, no — he's a splendid char- 
acter. I consider it a privilege to have him — 
he's sweet on Aunt Melissy. You mustn't cut 
her out now, will you? 



248 LOVERS' LANE 

Mrs. Woodbridge. [Laughing.] No, I'll try- 
not. 

Minister. And don't mind Miss Mattie if she 
is a little cantankerous at first. She always does 
that when any woman comes to the house. It 
will take about seven days for her to find out that 
you don't want to marry me. 

Mrs. Woodbridge. Maybe Miss Mattie won't 
like me on account of my trouble. 

Minister. Oh, dear no. Mattie's the broadest 
minded, most generous creature in the world. 

Mattie. [Outside. Yells.] T-o-m! 

Minister. That's Mattie now. [Mrs. Wood- 
bridge starts toward the door, frightened.] Wait a 
minute. I'll tell Mattie. She'll be so pleased. 
[Calls.] Mattie ! 

Mattie. [Entering; rather shortly.] What is it, 
Tom ? Oh ! Good morning, Mrs. Woodbridge. 



LOVERS' LANE 249 

Mrs. WooDBRiDGE. Good morning, Miss 
Mattie. 

Minister. [Timidly, from behind the desk.] 
Mattie, Mrs. Woodbridge is coming to live with 
us. 

Mattie. [Astounded.] What ! 

Mrs. Woodbridge. Dr. Singleton has asked 
me to, but I have told him I don't think I ought 
to accept his kind offer. 

Minister. We'll feel rather hurt if she doesn't 
— now, won't we, Mattie? 

Mattie. [Aside to the MmiSTER.] When is she 
coming ? 

Minister. This evening. 

Mattie. This evening ! 

[Disgusted. 

Mrs. Woodbridge. Perhaps it will inconven- 
ience you to have Dick and me here ! 



250 LOVERS' LANE 

Mattie. Oh, I suppose I can stand it if the 
Minister can. 

Minister. [To Mrs. Woodbridge.] There, I 
told you Mattie would be pleased. You mustn't 
mind Mattie's ways. 

Mrs. Woodbridge. But perhaps you'd rather 
I didn't come this evening, Miss Mattie? 

Mattie. Well, I must own — 

[Mrs. Woodbridge walks over to the window. 

Minister. [To Mattie, interrupting.] That 
you'd be disappointed if she didn't — eh, Mattie? 

[Winks at Mattie. 

Mattie. [Hesitating.] No, Tom, that wasn't 
what I was going to say, but I suppose it's none 
of my business. 

[Turning to bookcase and arranging books. Goes 
out. 

Minister. [To Mrs. Woodbridge.] Now, you 



LOVERS' LANE 251 

stay right here, and I'll send Uncle Bill after Dick 
and your trunk. 

Mrs. Woodbridge. Do you think I'd better? 

Minister. Yes. 

Mrs. Woodbridge. Well, thank you ever so 
much. I'll tell Uncle Bill. You needn't trouble 
— he's on the porch. 

[Goes out; the Minister starts to follow. 

Mattie. [Coming back.] Now, brother Tom, I 
would just like to know where you are going to put 
her ! I suppose you want me to give up my room ! 

Minister. [Turning back to Mattie.] Why, no, 
Mattie. She's to have mine. 

Mattie. Yours? Then where will you sleep? 

Minister, Here. I shall do nicely. 

Mattie. Here ! 

Minister. Yes. [Looking around, points to 
the lounge.] On the lounge. 



252 LOVERS' LANE 

Mattie. You sleep on that lounge? What'll 
you do with your feet ? 

Minister. [Laughing.] Hang 'em over the 
end, and then all the blood will rush out of my 
head, and then I shall sleep splendidly. 

[Mrs, Woodbridge re enters, saying: 

Mrs. Woodbridge. Thank you, Mr. Walters, 
very much. 

Minister. Mattie was just saying your room 
would want a little arranging for you. 

Mrs. Woodbridge. [Taking Mattie's arm.] 
She must let me help her. [To Mattie.] Yes, 
Miss Mattie, I insist. Show me where it is. 

Mattie. It's the room over the front porch. 

Minister. Why no, Mattie, it's the room over 
the parlor. 

Mattie. [Goes up to the desk, sharply.] Now, 
brother Tom, I think I am the one who takes 



LOVERS' LANE 253 

care of this house, and I say it's the room over 
the front porch. 

[Mattie and Mrs. Woodbridge go out together. 

Minister. Now, that's too bad. It's just Hke 
Mattie — so unselfish — going to give up her own 
room! Well, there's no use arguing with her. 
Mattie's bound to have her own way, and I must 
get to work on my sermon. 

[He sits down at his desk once more. 

[Enter Bridget, with her hair done up in curl- 
papers. 

Bridget. If you plaze, sorr, there is such a nice 
young couple in the hall that wants to get married. 

Minister. [Writing.] Actual Purgatory. 

Bridget. [Astounded, comingdown.] What, sorr? 

Minister. [Thoughtfully.] Bridget, do you 
believe in Purgatory? 



254 LOVERS' LANE 

Bridget. I believe in wedlock, sorr. 

Minister. But that hasn't anything to do 
with my text — with what I was writing. 

Bridget. Oh, St. Patrick ! [Laughing.] I 
thought you was referring to the marriage state. 
I axes your pardon. There's a young couple out 
in the hall on the edge of matrimony, who are 
wantin' you to give them a wee bit of a push over. 

Minister. Well, send them in, Bridget, and 
tell them they must be married quickly or, no — 
I mean they must — but don't tell them, — be- 
cause I really have got to work on my sermon. 

Bridget. Sure. She's a darHn' bit of a wife. 
[Showing them in al the door.] This way, if you 
plaze. 

[Enter Herbert Woodbridge, followed by 
Mary Larkin. Bridget goes out. Mary 
remains al the back. 



LOVERS' LANE 255 

Herbert. [Coming forward to Minister.] You 
are Dr. Singleton ? 

Minister. [Rising.] I am — and you? — 

Herbert. My name is Woodbridge, and — 

Mary. [Coyning forward.] I am Mary Larkin, 
and we wish to be — 

Herbert. [Going over to Mary.] Married. 

Mary. [Unbuttoning her left glove.] Will you 
marry us? 

Minister. Yes. I will be very glad to. How 
old are you, Mr. Woodbridge? 

Herbert. Thirty, sir. 

Minister. [To Mary.] And you? 

Mary. Eighteen, sir. 

[Turns to Herbert. Mary takes of the glove 
from her left hand and places it on the table. 

Minister. Eighteen? Isn't she pretty. [Forget- 
ting himself.] Isn't she pretty — isn't she pretty — 



2s6 LOVERS' LANE 

Mary. [Turning.] What — sir? 

Minister. [Starts.] Oh — er — I said eight- 
een was pretty young to marry, don't you think 
so? 

Mary. Oh, no, sir. And then Herbert — I 
mean Mr. Woodbridge — is enough older to make 
up any way. 

Minister. Where do you Hve? 

Mary. My home is really in East Eddysville 
— seven miles away from here. We've just 
driven over. I met Mr. Woodbridge in New 
York, where I went last winter to study Art at 
the League. 

Minister. [To Herbert.] You are a New 
Yorker ? So am I ! 

Herbert. Yes, sir. Oh — don't let us keep 
you standing ! 

Minister. [Absent-mindedly.] No — no — 



LOVERS' LANE 257 

excuse me. Let's all sit down. [The Minister 
gives Mary a chair. Then both men sit down.] 
You aren't in any hurry, are you? 

Herbert. Well — 

Mary. [Interrupting.] Oh, no, not in the least. 

Minister. [Moving nearer to Mary.] That's 
good. We can take plenty of time, and talk it all 
over. 

Herbert. I don't think there is anything to 
say, sir, except what the marriage service requires. 

Mary. You don't know me, sir, but I know 
you very well. I often come here to visit a school 
friend of mine — Molly Mealey — who teaches 
here. 

Herbert. But that's not the point. 

Minister. Well, let me see — you are neither 
of you married already ? 

Mary. [Smiling.] No, sir. 



2s8 LOVERS', LANE 

Herbert. [Gravely.] No, sir. 

Minister. [To Mary.] But why are you not 
married at your own home ? 

Mary. I am not happy there — my mother 
has married a second time, and that's how I came 
to go to New York and — 

Minister. [Interrupting.] I should think 
they'd miss you awfully. [Turning to Herbert.] 
But that's your gain, isn't it ? [Rising and return- 
ing the chair to the desk, he goes over to the bookcase.] 
I always use the Episcopal service. [He takes up a 
prayer-book from bookcase\ Are you to be mar- 
ried with a ring ? 

Mary. Oh, yes. Of course, sir — 

Herbert. [Rising from the organ bench.] Mary, 
I forgot the ring. 

Mary. Herbert ! Then we can't be married 
to-day ! 



LOVERS' LANE 259 

Minister. And that would disappoint you 
very much, wouldn't it ? 

[He lays the prayer-book on the table. 

Mary. Yes, sir, but after all we could do with- 
out the ring, though — [smiling at Herbert] 
I shan't feel quite altogether married, Herbert. 

[Minister stands in deep thought, twisting a ring 
on his finger. 

Mary. [Crosses to Herbert.] Why? What 
is he doing ? 

Herbert. I don't know. He's a funny old 
Johnnie, isn't he? 

Mary. No, I think he is a dear man ! 

Herbert. Well, I wish he'd brace up and 
marry us. I — I — I beg your pardon. 

Minister. [Absent-mindedly.] I beg your par- 
don. I've got a ring. Will you let me give it to 
you for a wedding present? It was my sister's 



26o LOVERS' LANE 

wedding ring once. She said for me to use it, but 
I'll never get married. The townspeople here 
tease me, you know — they say my little church 
is my sweetheart, and they call the road that leads 
to it from our orchard, "Lovers' Lane." 

Mary. [Who is standing between the Minister 
and Herbert.] Oh, but do you want .to part 
with it? 

Minister. Yes, I would like it to be your wed- 
ding ring. [She takes the ring.] Now, we must 
have a couple of witnesses. 

Mary. Oh, Herbert dear. [Turning to Her- 
bert.] We didn't bring any witnesses either. 

Minister. [Going to the door.] Oh, I've got 
plenty of witnesses — house full of witnesses. [He 
calls.] Mattie ! Mattie ! 

Mattie. [Calling back to him.] Now, what is 
it, Tom? 



LOVERS' LANE 261 

Minister. I want you. 

Mattie. [Still calling.] Go on with your ser- 
mon — I'm busy ! 

Minister. I want you to be a witness. 

Mattie. For the land's sake ! Witness to 
what? 

Minister. A marriage. 

Mattie. [Impatiently, still calling.] I'm too 
busy. I've got no time for such nonsense. Call 
Bridget, and I'll send down Mrs. Woodbridge. 

Minister. [Calling.] Bridget ! 

[Taking up the prayer-book again. 

Herbert. [Starts slightly to himself.] Mrs. 
Woodbridge ! 

Mary. Woodbridge — our name ! Isn't that 
funny ! 

Minister. That ought to bring you luck. 
Will you stand there? 



262 LOVERS' LANE 

[They stand together as Mrs. Woodbridge comes 
in. 

Mrs. Woodbridge. You sent for me, Dr. 
Singleton? 

Minister. Yes. Mrs. Woodbridge, I want 
you to witness a marriage between Miss Larkin 
and Mr. — 

[Mrs. Woodbridge starts as she sees Herbert. 

Herbert. Lucy ! 

Mrs. Woodbridge. Was it to witness a mar- 
riage between these two people that you called 
me. Dr. Singleton? 

Minister. Yes. 

Mrs. Woodbridge. I cannot do it. 

Minister. [Kindly.] Tell us why not. 

Mrs. Woodbridge. Ask him who is the father 
of my poor httle boy. 

Herbert. Yes, we were once married, she and I. 



LOVERS' LANE 263 

Mary, [ro Herbert.] What do you mean? 

Minister. [To Mary.] He was once her hus- 
band, but they are divorced now. 

Mary. [To Minister.] But he never told me 
he had been married. Herbert, you never said 
you were — 

Herbert. [Interrupting.] I didn't want you 
to know. 

Mary. But it was a lie — you told me a lie — 
you told me a lie ! 

Mrs. Woodbridge. [To Minister.] Don't let 
him ruin her poor young life if you can prevent it. 

[Mrs. Woodbridge leaves the room; they watch 
her go. The Minister stands motionless. A 
pause. 

Herbert. [Impatiently.] Well ? 

Minister. I cannot marry you — you must 
go to someone else. 



264 LOVERS' LANE 

Herbert. Why ? Because I am divorced ? 

Minister. No, because I don't think you will 
make Miss Larkin happy. 

Herbert. You are not the best judge of that. 

Minister. [To Mary.] Do you still wish to 
marry him ? 

Mary. I don't know, sir ! 

Herbert. [Scoriijully, turning to Mary.] 
Because I have been divorced, you are going to 
throw me over? 

Mary. No. Because you told me a lie ! 

Herbert. Then you don't love me? 

Mary. Oh — Herbert ! [Turning to Herbert ; 
then to Minister.] Yes, I do still want to marry 
him. 

Minister. Then you must get someone else 
to perform the service for you. 

Herbert. Very well, sir, I am sorry to have 



LOVERS' LANE 265 

had to put you to this trouble. Good afternoon. 
[He goes toward the door.] Come, Mary ! 

[He waits at the door. 

Mary. [Starting to follow.] Good-by, sir ! 

Minister. Good-by. 

[He stands in deep study at his desk. Mary, 
remembering the ring, goes up to the Minister. 

Mary. Oh, Herbert ! His ring! [To Minister.] 
Dr. Singleton, forgive me, I forgot your ring. 

Minister. I hope you know, Miss Larkin, 
that I would be pleased to marry you if I could 
feel he would make you happy as you deserve. 

Mary. Thank you, sir. — Your ring ! 

Minister. Do they know at home what you 
are doing? 

Maky. No, sir, but they wouldn't care. 

Minister. Then why not go home to-night and 
think it over? 



266 LOVERS' LANE 

Herbert. [At door, impatiently.] Mary! It's 
getting late. I'll go and get the horse. 

[Goes out. 

Mary. Thank you, sir, — you don't know 
how much he loves me — But your ring? 

Minister. No, take it just the same — I am 
sorry not to be the one to put it on, but if you 
are determined to marry him, take it, and use 
it just the same. I want it to be your wedding 
ring. [Herbert calls "Mary." 

Mary. Thank you, sir. I must go. 

[She starts to go, but meets Uncle Bill carrying 
Dick. 

Uncle Bill. Here we are, Doctor — come in 
the back way. How d'ye do. Miss? 

Mary. How do you do? Oh, you poor, dear 
little fellow. [She kisses Dick.] What's your 
name? 



LOVERS' LANE 267 

Uncle Bill. Woodbridge. Dick Woodbridge, 

Esq. [M\RY starts.] Now, you must hurry up 

and grow up, and some day you can marry a 

pretty lady like that. 

[Uncle Bill goes to bay window and plays with 

Dick, lulio has a picture book. 
Mary. [To Minister.] His boy ! His boy ! 
Doctor Singleton — I shall go home to-night ! 
[She hurries from the room. The Minister 
pauses and thinks. He sees her glove on the 
table. He picks it tip and lays it on his desk. 
Simplicity comes in. 
Simplicity. Pops ! Thinkin' of your sermon ? 
Minister. No, Simple, I wasn't, though I 
ought to have been. I don't believe there's a 
Purgatory, Simple. 

Simplicity. I do. Pops. I've torn my dress 
again. [She looks for tear, but cant find it. 



268 LOVERS' LANE 

Minister. Dear me! Where? 

Simplicity. There ! [Finding a big tear.] Pin 
it up for me, will you, Pops? 

[The Minister k leels and pins it together. 

Minister. How did you do it ? 

Simplicity. Guess. 

Minister. Climbing apple trees? 

Simplicity. Ugh-huh ! [Laughs. Picking up 
Mary's glove from the desk.] Whose glove is 
this? 

Minister. [Rising and taking the glove from 
her.] Mine ! 

Simplicity. Yours ? 

Minister. Yes ! I got it in exchange for a 
ring. 

THE CURTAIN FALLS 



ACT II 

Scene : The scJioolhouse corner. Opposite is the 
country store. Through a windoiv the post office 
is seen. It is recess time, and all the children are 
playing. Si.v or eight girls in a circle are shout- 
ing "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight 
— all around the other way." They join hands 
and dance around in a circle. A group of boys 
playing leap-frog with Simplicity. Two small 
boys and one girl playing horse, with the smallest 
boy for the horse. The girl is driving. The 
teacher rings the school bell. Simplicity hides 
behind two fighting boys (Billy and Harry). 
Mr. Brown, zvho keeps the store, is on the porch, 
smoking and reading. Dick is sitting on the 
269 



270 LOVERS' LANE 

school steps, looking on. Mary Larkin sits 

beside him. Miss Mealey comes from the 

schoolhouse, ringing the bell. The children stop 

playing. 

Miss Mealey. Where's Simplicity? 

All the Girls. What? 

Miss Mealey. SimpUcity. 

Bessie Steele. [With girls — searching among 
the girls, calls.] Simplicity ! Simplicity ! Oh, 
she must be with the boys. 

Miss Mealey. What, playing with the boys 
again, when I've expressly forbidden her ! Sim- 
plicity ! [There is a dead silence. Simplicity is 
hiding behind the boys.] Simplicity, are you 
there? 

Simplicity. [Still hiding.] No, ma'am. 

[All the children laugh. 

Miss Mealey. Come out this minute ! 



LOVERS' LANE 271 

Billy. She ain't here. That was me making 
believe. 
Miss Mealey. I know better. Come here, 

Simplicity! 

Billy. [To Simplicity.] Don't you do it. 

Miss Mealey. Billy Brown, you stay fifteen 
minutes after school. 

Billy. I don't care. She ain't here ! 

[Going to Miss Mealey. 

Miss Mealey. Now you'll stay half an hour 
after. Simplicity! 

Simplicity. I'm coming. [Pushes her way be- 
tween the two boys, giving Billy a half-eaten apple.] 
Here, Billy. You take my apple. I'm sorry 
you've got to stay in. 

Miss Mealey. Haven't I told you you'd be 
punished if you didn't stop being such a tom- 
boy? You'll get the ruler. Miss. 



272 LOVERS' LANE 

Mary. [From the school steps.] Oh, please 
don't punish her, Molly. She doesn't mean any 
harm. 

[Molly and Mary talk. 

Billy. It's your fault, Harry Jenkms, for not 
hiding her enough. I've got a good mind to — 

Harry. Aw — why don't you do it ? Here, 
knock the chip off me shoulder — I dare you ! 

[The two hoys fight. Simplicity grabs Billy, 
while Mary Larkin and the little girls take 
charge of. Harry. 

Mary. Boys! Boys! Now, come, this won't 
do any good. Simplicity, you go into the school 
now, and tell Miss Mealey you are sorry, and 
maybe she'll forgive you. 

Simplicity. I'm always saying I'm sorry — 
I'm getting tired. 

Mary. Come along. 

[Simplicity walks toward the schoolhouse. 



LOVERS' LANE 273 

Billy. Miss Mealey, if you want to lick any- 
one, lick me — I don't mind. 

Miss Mealey. No ! I'm not going to whip 
anybody to-day. [.1// the children shout for joy.] 
But Simple must study her spelling the rest of the 
recess. 

[Miss Mealey pushes Simplicity into the 
schoolhouse and shuts the door. 

Billy. The boys don't mind her lickin'. She 
don't hurt anybody. 

Mary. Billy, will you take Dick Woodbridge 
home? He doesn't feel well. 

Billy. Yes, ma'am, in just a minute. [He 
takes from his pocket the apple which Simplicity 
has given him, looks at it, and carefidly places it in 
another pocket. Mary helps Dick on Billy's 
back.] Come along, Dick. Get on my back. 

Mary. There ! That's splendid — thank you, 
Billy. 



274 LOVERS' LANE 

Billy. Dick, now you pretend I'm a runaway 
horse and you can't stop me. 

[He gallops of stage, all the children following 
and shouting after him, "Runaway horse — 
stop him," etc. 
Mary. Come along. Now, children, let's play 
London Bridge ! 

Harry. Aw — I don't want to play no girl's 
game ! 

Bessie Steele. Ain't he mean? Well, we 
don't want you anyway, Harry Jennings ! 

All the Girls. No, we wouldn't play with 
you anyway, Harry Jennings ! 

Harry. [Looking down the street.] Here comes 
the Minister. Hooray ! Hooray ! 

[All the children run to meet the Minister, He 
comes in, surrounded by children, who continue 
shouting. 



LOVERS' LANE 275 

Minister. What a flock of birds! Good 
morning, Miss Larkin. I'm being mobbed. 

Bessie Steele. Let's play London Bridge is 
Falling Down, with the Minister and Miss Larkin. 

All the Children. Yes! Hurrah! The 
Minister and Miss Larkin ! 

Minister. Will you ? 

Mary. Yes, indeed. 

[They join hands, holding them up to make the 
bridge, and the children form in twos and 
pass under, singing : 

"London Bridge is falling down, falling down, 
falling down, London Bridge is falling down, my 
fair Lady. Take some bricks and build it up, 
build it up, build it up. Take some bricks and 
build it up, my fair Lady. Take the key and 
lock her up, lock her up, lock her up. Then take 
the key and lock her up, my fair Lady." 



2 76 LOVERS' LANE 

[Miss Mealey enters, ringing recess bell to bring 
the children back to the schoolhouse. Then, as 
if looking for some truant, she sees the Minister 
and Mary holding hands. 

Miss Mealey. [Going up to the Minister while 
Mary joins the children.] Well, when you two 
are through holding hands, perhaps you'll let 
school go on ! 

Minister. I came around to see how the sing- 
ing was getting along, Miss Molly. [To Mary.] 
We're getting up an Old Folks Concert with the 
children, to build a wing to the schoolhouse. 

Mary. I heard about it, but thought it was 
to be Mrs. Jarley's waxworks ? 

Minister. So it was, but some of the church 
ladies said that would be too much like a theat- 
rical performance. 

Miss Mealey. Yes, indeed, there's some of us 



LOVERS' LANE 277 

as don't care to demean ourselves, though I 
don't doubt Mrs. Woodbridge was willing ! 

Minister. T wanted the waxworks. Thought 
there'd be more fun, but it's to be a children's 
Old Folks Concert, and I hope they've learned 
their old tunes. 

Miss Mealey. They may not sing as well as 
your choir. 

Minister. Look out, Miss Molly ! Mrs. 
Woodbridge resigned this morning, and you'll 
have your chance again. 

Miss Mealey. [Brighieni>i(^.] Don't say ! I 
hadn't heard. Would you like to hear the chil- 
dren practise? We were going to, after Geog- 
raphy. Perhaps you'll be passing by and could 
stop. 

[Goifig toward the school. 

Minister, Well, maybe I will. 



278 LOVERS' LANE 

Miss Mealey. Come on in, Mame, if Dr. 
Singleton can spare you. 

[Laughing, she goes slyly into the schoolhouse. 
Mary follows. 

Minister. Miss Larkin. [Following Mary.] I 
hope you are not angry with me for sending you 
and Mr. Woodbridge from the Parsonage yester- 
day? 

Mary. No, no. I am not angry. 

Minister. Will you be here after Geography, 
too? 

Mary. Yes, I'm going to see Simplicity 
through her struggles with the capital of Vermont. 

Minister. I know, she wants every State to 
have a Boston. 

Mary. Good-by. 

[She blushes and goes into schoolhouse. 

Minister. [Follows a few steps.] No — no! 
Not good-by — ^ I'm coming back. 



LOVERS' LANE 279 

Brown. [From the porch.] Good morning, 
Minister ! 

Minister. Good morning, Mr. Brown. Lovely 
morning. 

Brown. I hear the billiard table come to the 
express office this morning. 

Minister. Yes, I'm going to see about its 
being put up now. 

Brown. Look out for the women ! They're 
dead set against it. 

Minister. What's the matter with the women 
in this town? 

Brown. Oh, they're just mad because you 
ain't married one of them yet. You take the 
advice of a friend who has gone and done it, and 
you go over to North Adams and get one of them 
purty young city girls ! 

Minister. When I first came here I thought 
they all liked me, and were going to help me 



28o LOVERS' LANE 

build up this place into a happy, free, broad- 
minded community. 

Brown. You can't do it, Doctor. Not with 
this here generation. They says now you are 
too free and broad-minded, and old Deacon Steele 
there, — he's as bad as the women folks. He 
even says as how nothing can stop you. If they 
don't look out, you'll be additating a corner 
saloon. 

Minister. Poor mistaken old man, when all 
I want is to make everybody here happy and 
contented in a good, healthy way, — and I'll do 
it yet, in spite of them ! 

Brown. Go ahead — I'm backing you. 

Minister. Look here, I want you to get in a 
stock of cards. 

Brown. Postal or visitin' — I've got 'em both. 

Minister. No. Playing cards ! 



LOVERS' LANE 281 

Brown. Playin' cards? I wouldn't risk the 
outlay. I'^ never sell 'em. 

Minister. I'll order two packs now, for the 
young men's parlors. 

Brown. Well, you're goin' it purty strong! 
[Rising.] When the women folks hear that — 
[Whistles.] But I'll see you through. I'll write 
a postal card right off to Bosting. 

[He goes into the store to a desk by the window, 
aiid writes the card. The Minister walks tip 
the street and meets Billy coming down. 
Minister. Hello, Billy ! 

Billy. Been up to your house, sir, with Dick 
Woodbridge. He's sorter sick. 

Minister. Sorry to hear that. Was his 
mother there? 

Billy. Yes, sir, but gee, I'm late ! 

[He runs into the school. 



282 LOVERS' LANE 

Minister. [Following.] Tell Miss Mealey it 
was my fault. 

[Mrs. Steele enters, on her way to the store. 
She notices the Minister, turns tip her nose, 
and flounces into the store. 
Mrs. Steele. [.4/ the door.] Mr. Brown, is 
your wife here yet ? 

Brown. [Who was writing at his desk by the 
window, comes out.] No ! Didn't know she was 
coming ! 

Mrs. Steele. [On the step, looking up and down 
the street, and glancing at the Minister.] Well, 
she is, and that billiard table is going to be carted 
from the express office any minute now, if we 
don't prevent it! 

[She goes into the store. Skillig enters wilh 
paste-pot and brush, posters, etc. Whistling. 
He commences to paste on the board one sheet. 



LOVERS' LANE 283 

Skillig. [To Brown.] Good m-o-r-n-i-n-g — 

[He goes on pasting. 

Brown. Good morning, Mr. Skillig. Doctor 
Singleton, I want to introduce you to Mr. Skillig. 
Mr. Skillig is manager of our Oprey House. 

Skillig. How d'ye do? 

Minister. Glad to meet you, Mr. Skillig. 
Heard you'd come over to undertake the manage- 
ment of the Opera House. 

Skillig. Yep ! yep ! and I lead the orchestra, 
too. 

Minister. Musical, too. That's good ! You'll 
help us with the Old Folks Concert? 

Skillig. [Vigorously pasting bill-board.] That's 
what I've got here in the bills. I'm billposter, 
too. [Still pasting.] One man in his life plays 
many parts. 

Minister. An actor, too? 



284 LOVERS' LANE 

Skillig. I always thought so. [Slill pasting.] 

But I was too darned artistic for the present 

public. I tried everything, from Hamlet to 

Vaudyville, but I never reached Saturday night 

in a single town. 

[He reads aloud. 

OLD FOLKS CONCERT 

AT THE 

Young People's Meeting Rooms 

IN LOVERS' LANE 
Next Saturday Evening at 7.30 Sharp 

FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE 

ADDITION TO THE SCHOOLHOUSE 

Admissio7i 25 Cents 
All Welcome Refreshments 

Brown. Here, Skillig, give me one of them 
posters, and I'll put it up in my store. 

[Skillig gives him a poster, and he goes into 
store. 



LOVERS' LANE 285 

Minister. [Pointing to paper on the bill- 
board.] It's a pity we haven't got some pictures 
like this Uncle Tom troupe to advertise our con- 
cert with. 

Skillig. That was a rotten show, though. 
Little Eva and Eliza doubled, and Uncle Tom did 
the bloodhounds behind the scenes. I won't 
have them in my Oprey House again. 

[Goes on pasting. 
Minister. Haven't you some left-over pic- 
tures — some pretty pictures you could put up 
for the Concert ? Something to attract the coun- 
try people? We want to make all the money we 

can. 

Skillig. [Stopping to think.] Well, now, I 
beUeve I have. There was a troupe that busted 
last week, and had sent on some writing, C. O. D. 
What was it they called themselves? Now, let 



286 LOVERS' LANE 

me see ! Oh, yes — The New York Daisies. 
They might do. 

Minister. Pretty little girls? 

Skillig. That's your figure — they was 
daisies! 

Minister. Well, give us some of those. 

Skillig. I'll go and get a couple now. 

[He puts down his paste bucket and brush. 

Minister. Good idea. Oh, Mr. Skillig ! I'd 
like to have you come around to our house some 
night and have supper. My sister Mattie'd be 
very glad to see you. 

Skillig. Thank you ! 

{He goes up the street. The Minister starts to 
go out, but Mary, from the window, coughs to 
attract his attention. 

Minister. Hello ! Is that Geography lesson 
over ? [Coming up to the window. 



LOVERS' LANE 287 

Mary. No, but poor Simplicity has finished. 
She said Boston was the largest city in the world, 
and she thought Vermont was a lake. 

Minister. Poor child! Where is she? 

[Peers in the window. 

Mary. In the corner with her face to the wall. 

Minister. Planning mischief, I'll be bound. 

Mary. Tell me, have you been where you were 
going? 

Minister. Oh, dear no ! I forgot. I'm off to 
see the billiard table set up in the young men's 
club. 

Mary. [Still talking through the window.] 
They haven't one yet? 

Minister. Yet? The Deacon and the Sew- 
ing Circle threaten to pull down the house if the 
table is set up, but I'll conquer before I get 
through! I'll have the Deacon passing the time, 



288 LOVERS' LANE 

some dull, wet evening, with an honest game, and 
Molly Mealey pushing the beads along to keep 
count. Good-by. Will you be here when I get 
back? 

Mary. Yes. I'll be inside. Just rap three 
times on the ledge. Molly is awfully mad with 
me for playing London Bridge with you just now. 

Minister. [Absent-mindedly.] Is she? That's 
good. I — I — mean — that won't do any harm. 

Mary. Good-by. 

[Disappears from the window. 

Minister. Good-by. 

[He stands, watching the ivindow where she was. 
Mrs. Brow^n and Mrs. Jennings enter on 
their way to the store. 

Mrs. Brown and Mrs. Jennings. [Together.] 
Good morning, Dr. Singleton ! 

Minister. Good morning — beautiful day ! 



LOVERS' LANE 289 

Mrs. Brown. We're meeting at my husband's 
store to put down the biUiard table! 

Minister. [As they both go into the store.] 
Don't let me stop you. I am just gomg to put 
it up! 

[As the Minister starts to go out, he meets 

Skillig coming back. 
Skillig. Hold on there — hold on there — 
I've got the pictures ! 

Minister. I can't wait — it's all right — put 
'em up. I'll see you to-morrow. 

[He goes out. 
Skillig. \With ysheet rolls, he prepares to paste 
them up.] This ought to be a great "ad" for an 
Old Folks Concert. [As he finishes pasting, he 
gazes admiringly at the pictures — a flashy group 
of chorus girls in tights, with large hats and 
feathers.] Cussed shame this troupe didn't show 



290 LOVERS' LANE 

here. Looks like a pretty good show. Calculated 
to wake this blessed old town up. 

[Brown enters as the second sheet is pasted up. 

Brown. [Disgusted.] Hello, Mr. Skillig ! Do 
you think there's any room for me out o' doors? 

Skillig. I don't own the earth, Mr. Brown. 
Wish I did. [He pastes up the third sheet. 

Brown. Well, my wife and her women friends 
are in the store, and there's no room for me there. 
What are you doing ? 

Skillig. Puttin' up bills for the Old Folks 
Concert. 

[Brown starts to read the poster. Skillig goes 
on pasting. 

Mrs. Brown. [Coming out of the store with 
Mrs. Steele.] Hosea, you can go back into your 
store, now. [Mrs. Jennings staying on the porch. 

Brown. Have you emptied the vinegar barrel ? 



LOVERS' LANE 291 

Mrs. Steele. Good morning, Mr. Skillig. [She 
sees the poster and screams.] Oh, Mrs. Brown and 
Mrs. Jennings ! Look ! 

Mrs. Brown. Good gracious ! 

Mrs. Jennings. [Rushing from the porch.] 
What is it — what is it? 

Mrs. Brown. Don't look, Mrs. Jennings! 
Don't look! 

Mrs. Jennings. I guess I do look — you have! 
[Looks at the posters.] Sakes alive ! 

Skillig. What's the matter ! [Turning to 
Brown.] Be they jealous? [Brown is shaking 
with laughter. 

Mrs. Brown. Give me that brush! [She 
struggles for the brush — and gets it.] Give me 
one of those white sheets. [She picks it up and 
pastes it excitedly over part of one of the pictures.] 
You come near enough to see this picture and 



292 LOVERS' LANE 

I'll paste a bill on you! [To Skillig.] And now 
you paste it all over, or I'll tear it off, or I'll 
have you arrested. 

Skillig. It was the Minister told me to put it 
there. 

Mrs. Brown. What ! 

Mrs. Steele. The Minister ! 

Mrs. Jennings. A nice man to have guiding 
our young, and ruling in our midst! 

Mrs. Brown. [Showing postal card.] And 
what do you think I just found on my husband's 
counter ? 

Mrs. Steele. To a woman ? 

Mrs. Brown. No, but most as bad. To Bos- 
ting for playing cards ! 

[Tears the postal card in half, and throws it away. 

Mrs. Steele. As for them indecent pictures, 
the Deacon will attend to them. 



LOVERS' LANE 293 

Mrs. Jennings. And the billiard table ! 
Mrs. Brown. Let that be for the present, and 
come back now to Miss Canning's. Putting Mrs. 
Woodbridge out of the choir ain't enough ; we 
must put that scandalous orphan — Simplicity 
— of his, out of that school ! I ain't agoin' to 
have her ruining of my boy's character. 

Mrs. Steele. She's a bad influence, that's 
what she is, and we'll show Dr. Singleton who is 
boss of this town ! 

Mrs. Brown. We women folks! We'll settle 
it at Miss Canning's. 

[The three women go out talking excitedly. As 
they go, Skillig picks up the postal card — 
pastes it together with paper, and then mails it 
in the letter-box, whistling, " There'll be a hot 
time in the old town to-night. '^ The Minister 
re-enters. 



294 LOVERS' LANE 

Minister. [Calling.] Mr. Brown ! Mr. Brown! 

Brown. [Coming back.] Yes, sir. 

Minister. I got it up. 

Brown. What ? 

Minister. The biUiard table. 

Brown. Good ! But I say — 

Minister. Can't stop now. You must ex- 
cuse me. I have an engagement. [The Minister 
goes toward the window of the school. Brown 
goes into the store. The Minister taps three 
times on the window-ledge. Mary appears at 
the window.] Sorry I was so long. 

Mary. Why, it wasn't long. You've only 
been gone ten minutes. 

Minister. Jupiter ! I thought it was about 
an hour and a half. 

Mary. I thought perhaps you'd met Herbert 
— Mr. Woodbridge. 



LOVERS' LANE 295 

Minister. I did — and his sister, Mrs. Lane. 
She thinks I was wrong yesterday. I wonder 
if I was. 

Mary. What did Herbert say? 

Minister. I only talked with Mrs. Lane. 
There are other ministers to go to, you know. 

Mary. I won't be married by anybody ex- 
cept you. 

Minister. Do you know, Miss Larkin, I 
wish you lived here! 

Mary. So do I. 

Minister. Then, why don't you come and 
live with us? Oh, dear, I don't suppose that 
would do — Besides, we haven't any room. 
I don't know as I would exactly blame Mr. 
Woodbridge for hating me. 

Mary. Why should anyone hate you? 

Minister. Dear me! Then you must blame a 



296 LOVERS' LANE 

lot of women in this town. I find myself getting 
very unpopular. What do you wear on that 
ribbon around your neck ? 

Mary. I don't like to tell. 

Minister. Why not? 

Mary. It's something I want to give you. 
It's the real reason I came to town to-day. 
But I can't give it to you here — someone 
might see me. I'll bring it to the Parsonage. 

Minister. I don't see how I can wait till 
then to know what it is. 

Mary. [Laughing.] I'm afraid you'll have to. 

Minister. [Taking her hand.] Isn't it funny 
how much prettier your hand is than Mattie's? 

Mary. [Blushing and drawing her hand away.] 
Is it? 

Minister. And prettier'n Aunt Melissy's or 
Mrs. Brown's or Miss Mealey's and even Simple's. 



LOVERS' LANE 297 

Prettier even than Simple's when it's clean. 
It is on special occasions. 

Mary. Oh, you're a flatterer, Mr. Singleton! 

[T/ie childroi's voices are heard inside, trying 
to sing the "Swing and Cricket" song, with 
the organ. 

Minister. And I bet Molly Mealey didn't 
tell you so. 

Mary. I forgot. They're practising now for 
you. 

Minister. Ought I come in? 

Mary. No, they want to come out here and 
surprise you. 

Minister. Surprise me? 

Mary. Sh ! Yes ! Don't say T told you, 
but they're dressed up in the old-fashioned 
clothes they're going to wear, and when they 
know you are here, they are going to march 



298 LOVERS' LANE 

out and surprise you. I must tell Molly you've 
come. 

Minister. No, don't tell her yet. 

Mary. Why not? 

Minister. [Absent-mindedly.] Oh, I don't 
know. I just thought that you and I might 
go on talking for a couple of hours. 

Mary. Oh, no, there isn't time. I must tell 
them! Besides, Molly's awfully mad at me 
still. She says I needn't come over here to see 
her ; that it's only a blind to see you. [Laugh- 
ing.] Isn't she silly? 

Minister. Yes, I suppose she is. 

Mary. Good-by. 

[She vanishes from the window. 

Minister. [Absent-mindedly, turning from 
window.] Yes, siree ! It's the prettiest hand 
I ever saw. 



LOVERS' LANE 299 

Mary. [Comes out of the schoolhouse door and 
speaks to him, as if they hadn't been speaking 
before.] How do you do, Dr. Singleton. 

Minister. Glad to see you again, Miss 
Larkin. 

[Miss Mealey appears at the schoolhouse door. 

Miss Mealey. Oh, that's what you were 

doing at the window, Mame Larkin? Talking 

to the Minister. I'll thank you not to make 

my schoolhouse your rendezvous. 

Mary. Molly! 

Miss Mealey. I'm not playing gooseberry 

to anyone. If you want to carry on with the 

Minister, you'd better do it in your own home! 

Minister. Miss Mealey! Miss Mealey! 

[The children run out from the schoolhouse, 

dressed for the Old Folks Concert, singing 

''Old Dog Tray." They form a grape-arbor 



300 LOVERS' LANE 

by joining hands across the stage. The first 
couple stop in front of the steps and join ha^ids. 
The next couple pass under and do likewise, 
until all form the grape-arbor. The fat boy, 
passing through last, stops a second and 
watches the children. The last couple through 
start back single file through the arbor and circle 
round the Minister, all running of through 
the schoolhouse. The fat boy, with his hand 
on the shoulder of the last boy on the line, 
slyly peeps at the pastor until he reaches the 
steps, when he falls into schoolhouse. As 
the children go out, Mrs. Brown, Deacon 
Steele, Mrs. Steele, owe? Mrs. Jennings 
come on. 
Mrs. Brown. There, Deacon, that's it ! 

That's the scandalous thing, and the Minister 

chose it ! 



LOVERS' LANE 301 

Steele. And in front of Molly Mealey's school. 
[To Miss Mealey.] Keep the children in school. 

Minister. [Now looking at the bill-board for 
the first time.] Jupiter! Is that Skillig's idea 
of a daisy? The old man's made a mistake. 
This won't do ! 

Steele. No, siree, it won't do ! 

Mrs. Brown. And lots more things won't do. 

Mrs. Steele. The billiard table's up. We'll 
get it down if we have to saw its limbs off ! 

MiSs Mealey. Oh, the Minister has other 
games. He can always play London Bridge 
with East Eddysville girls. 

Mrs. Brown. [To Steele.] Go on — Sim- 
plicity — 

Steele. Molly, is it true what the ladies 
have been telling me, that Simplicity Johnson 
is the most punished child in your school ? 



302 LOVERS' LANE 

Miss Mealey. Yes, Deacon, that's true. 

Minister. Poor Simple ! 

Mrs. Brown. And she deserves it, Molly. 

Miss Mealey. More than she gets. 

Minister. I doubt that. 

Mrs. Brown. I beg pardon. Dr. Singleton, 
but just now we're in the pulpit. 

Minister. Then Heaven help your congre- 
gation ! 

Steele. Mrs. Brown says as SimpHcity lies. 

Miss Mealey. She does. 

Minister. Be careful. Miss Mealey. You'll 
have to prove everything you say. 

Mrs. Brown. And Mrs. Jennings says she 
steals — took marbles from her boy. 

Minister. Simple ! 

Miss Mealey. Shouldn't be surprised. 

Mrs. Brown. And Mrs. Steele says — 

{Mumbles on until Steele interrupts. 



LOVERS' LAXE 303 

Steele. Let me do the talking, Mrs. Brown. 
[To Minister.] Mrs. Steele, than whom there 
ain't no more trustful woman, allows that this 
child is a menace to the young of this town. 

Minister. Huh ! 

Mrs. Brown. Yes, indeed. She's a bad ex- 
ample — that's what she is. And out she's 
got to git ! 

Steele. [To Miss Mealey.] Molly, fetch 
her here. 

Miss Mealey. [Calling Simplicity from the 

school.] Simplicity ! 

[Simplicity comes in. 

Mrs. Brown. Simplicity Johnson, you're ex- 
pelled from this school. 

Simplicity. I'm glad of it ! 
Mrs. Brown. Oh, you are! 
Mrs. Steele. What impudence ! 
Mrs. Jennings. Well, I never! 



304 LOVERS' LANE 

Steele. But that ain't all. 

Mrs. Brown. No, siree, it's only the be- 
ginning. You're going to be sent, Miss, to the 
Massachusetts State House of Correction. 

Minister. What ! 

Mary. No! 

Miss Mealey. Oh, of course, Miss Larkin 
would take the Minister's side. 

Minister. But that's as good as sending her 
to jail. 

Simplicity. Jail ! [SJie screams, throwing her- 
self on the ground in front of the Minister.] No, 
no, Pops ! Don't let 'em send me ! Don't let 'em 
send me to jail ! 

Minister. [Lifting her.] Never mind, Simple, 
don't worry. 

[He embraces her. The others are horrified. 

Steele. The child is expelled. 



LOVERS' LANE 305 

Minister. And I say she isn't. Who ex- 
pelled her? 

Miss Mealey. I do. 

Minister. You? You haven't the right. 

Mrs. Brown. Then, Molly Mealey, you re- 
sign. 

Miss Mealey. I do ! I resign the school 
this minute. 

Minister. Good! You witness that, Mr. 
Brown. She resigns. 

Brown. Yes, siree, Minister. I witness it. 

Mrs. Brown. [Who nods knowingly to Miss 
Mealey.] And now you have no teacher in the 
town ! 

All. Ugh-huh! 

Minister. Miss . Larkin, I know you don't 
need our little salary, but you said you'd hke 
to live in this town, and I'd like to have you. 



3o6 LOVERS' LANE 

Will you accept the vacant post of teacher of 
this school? 
Mary. Yes, Dr. Singleton. 
Minister. Thank you. Come in and let 
me introduce you to the scholars. 

[Mary and Minister go into the schoolhouse 
and close the door. In surprise the four 
women follow, and look in through the window. 
On seeing the new teacher, cheering from the 
children is heard, as 

THE CURTAIN FALLS 



ACT III 

Scene: The orchard hack of the Minister's 
house. A covered porch opens out into the 
garden. It is an Autumn day; the ground is 
strewn with fallen leaves. There is an apple kee 
with apples on it, and under it a bench. The 
Minister's house is to the Left. On the Right, 
a little path leads up-hill through trees, to a gate. 
A golden Autumn light pervades everywhere. 

Uncle Bill and Aunt Melissy are discovered 
sitting on a bench under the apple tree. Sim- 
plicity is in the tree, watching them from above. 
Aunt Melissy. I'm sure, Mr. Bill, it's a 

long time since I've thought of such a thing 

as marriage and giving in marriage. 
307 



3o8 LOVERS' LANE 

Uncle Bill. I ain't sot much store on it. 

AiTNT Meltssy. [Holding her hand to her 
ear.] H-a-y-ee ? 

Uncle Bill. I say I ain't sot much store 
on it myself for the last forty years. 

Aunt Melissy. But I must say it's a bit 
comfortin' to an old body like me to hear as 
there's someone cares enough for her to want 
her to change her name. 

Uncle Bill. Then you think, Melissy dear, 
you kin trust your life to me? [Simplicity 
drops autumn leaves on them from above.] I 
guess the wind's raisin'. 

Aunt Melissy. And you'd never let me die 
in the poorhouse, would you, Mr. Bill? 

Uncle Bill. No, siree, Mehssa. 

Aunt Melissy. Ha-a-ye-? 

[Simplicity drops more leaves on them. 



LOVERS' LANE 309 

Uncle Bill. [Looking up.] Sort o' spasmotic 
breezes ever' now and then — hope 'tain't goin' 
ter rain. 

Aunt Melissy. It will be more convenient 
for the Minister, too, havin' us married, Mr. 
William. 

Uncle Bill. Yes, it'll give him an extra room. 

Aunt Melissy. H-a-y-e-? 

Uncle Bill. [Louder.] I say it'll give him 
an extra room for Mis' Woodbridge. That's 
one reason made me ask yer to-day. Thought 
as how we wus getting sort o' cramped fur room, 
in the Parsonage. 

Aunt Melissy. You mustn't say we wus, if 
I am going to be Mrs. Walters. I'll have to 
teach you grammar, Mr. WiUiam. 

Uncle Bill. Then it's all settled, is it, 
Melissy? [Simplicity drops an apple on Uncle 



3IO LOVERS' LANE 

Bill's head. He picks up the apple.] We're 
goin' ter have an all-fired early apple crop. 
Hev this one with me, Melissy. I've heard 
tell of them heathen gods gave Venus a gold 
apple cas she was a pretty girl. 

Aunt Melissy. H-a-y-e? 

Uncle Bill. I say I've heard tell of one of 
them heathen gods gave Venus a gold apple 
cas she was a pretty gal. 

Aunt Melissy. Now, go 'long, Mr. Bill, I'm 
not a pretty girl. 

Uncle Bill. I didn't say ye wus; I said 
Venus wus a pretty gal. 

Aunt Melissy. Oh ! Yer mustn't talk 'bout 
Venus until we're married. Come, let us ask 
the Minister. 

[They start to go to the house as Bridget and 
Mr. Brown come out. 



LOVERS' LANE 3" 

Bridget. You'll find him in the orchard. 

[Bridget goes in again. 

Brown. Hello — Uncle Bill — is the Minister 
here? 

Uncle Bill. No, sir, he's to Miss Canning's. 
Kin we do anythin' fur yer? 

Brown. Well, I dunno. I've come to warn 
the Minister, in a friendly way, there's trouble 
brewing in the church. How is he to-day? 
He's behaved sort o' absent-minded and curious- 
like the last few days. 

Aunt Melissy. [To Brown.] The Minister 
was all put out by the singing in the church 
Sunday. Said he missed the inspiration of 
Mis' Woodbridge's voice. 

Brown. Ah, he owned up, did he ? That was 
a mistake. Well, the trouble is, most of the con- 
gregation take a different view and sez it made 



312 LOVERS' LANE 

'em feel real comfortable hearing Molly Mealey 

getting off the key again in the same old place. 

Aunt Melissy. H-a-y-e? 

Brown. Made 'em feel sort o' comfortable 
hearing Molly Mealey getting off the key again 
in the same old place. 

Aunt Melissy. 0-h! 

Brown. [To Uncle Bill.] Mis' Woodbridge 
settlin' down here ter stay? 

Uncle Bill. She's come fer good. I guess 
— anyway fer a long spell. Her boy was took 
sick yesterday. 

Brown. That's too bad ! Things are going 
against the Minister. They're all saying he 
give 'em an old sermon last Sunday. 

Uncle Bill. He had a new one begun — a 
scorcher — I guess. About whether there's a 
Purgatory or not. 



LOVERS' LANE 313 

Brown. That's just what they wanted. He 
ought to have given it to 'em hot. 

Uncle Bill. I think he took the side of there 
being no actual place of the kind. 

Brown, There you have it ! Just goin' con- 
trary to the folks' wishes. The people are 
scandalized by his taking Mis' Woodbridge in. 
Tell the Minister I've come to tell him there's 
a private meeting of the Council will be held 
pretty soon, and I'd advise him, as a friend, 
to happen in, and if he can say as Mis' Wood- 
bridge has gone to the City on the 5 : 30 p.m. 
train, it'd be the best thing fur him. 

[During this speech, Aunt Melissy edges over 
to Brown, listening. 

Aunt Melissy. H-a-y-e? 

Brown. Oh, dog-gon-it — you tell her ! 

[Walking tip and down. 



314 LOVERS' LANE 

Uncle Bill. Mis' Woodbridge's going to the 
City on the 5 : 30 train. 

Simplicity. [From the tree.] Hello, Mr. Brown. 

Brown. Hey? What? 

Uncle Bill. [Surprised, looking about.] It's 
Simplicity. 

Brown. [Also looking about.] Where is she? 

Simplicity. [In the tree.] Here I am, up in 
the tree. 

Brown. Oh, I thought you weren't allowed 
to climb the tree? 

Simplicity. [Eating an apple.] I'm not, by 
Miss Mattie, but Pop lets me. 

Brown. There, that's just what everyone 
says — he lets the child do as she pleases. 

Uncle Bill. They'd better not talk to me 
about the Minister ! I can tell yer that I haven't 
been ringing the bell there for twenty years with 



LOVERS' LANE 315 

this arm, without putting some muscle into it. 
Who bought the bell and give it ter the church? 
Why, the Minister. 

Aunt Melissy. [Who hasnt heard correctly.] 
Yes, indeed, I was a great belle in my day. 

[Brown looks disgusted and walks away. 

Uncle Bill. We're talking about the church 
bell the Minister gave. The ding, ding, ding 
dong bell. 

Aunt Melissy. Oh, yes, indeed, and he just 
the same as give the church itself. When he 
first came here, he started right in by lifting 
the mortgage of three thousand dollars out of his 
own pocket. 

Simplicity. Yes, siree, and I heard every 
word you said, Mr. Brown, and I can tell you 
one thing, — Pops will do what's right in spite 
of all the Councils in creation. 



3i6 LOVERS' LANE 

Brown. But Simplicity, the Minister'd better 
humor the Council. It's for them to decide 
who's to be in their pulpit. 

Simplicity. I don't care who decides what. 
I'll bet on Pops every time. 

Brown. Well, I'm his friend, too. I'm going 
ter do all I kin. [Goes out through the gate. 

Simplicity. Uncle Bill, I'm awful glad you 
and Aunt Melissy are going to be married, but 
you'd better break it to Miss Mattie first. Pops 
will be tickled to death, but Mattie will throw 
a fit. 

Aunt Melissy. [To Uncle Bill.] H-a-y-e? 
What did she say? 

Uncle Bill. She's offering us her congratu- 
lations. 

Aunt Melissy. Thank you. Simplicity. 

Simplicity. Aunt Melissy, I'll be your brides- 
maid. 



LOVERS' LANE 317 

Aunt Melissy. H-a-y-e ? What did she say ? 

Uncle Bill. She says she wishes she was going 
ter be married. 

Aunt Melissy. There's plenty of time for 
you, Simplicity, plenty of time for you. 

Simplicity. Uncle Bill, ain't you ashamed of 
yerself, sparkin' the girls at your age? 

Uncle Bill. What's age got to do with it? 

Aunt Melissy. H-a-y-e? What did she say? 

Uncle Bill. She said you look twenty years 
younger than yer did yesterday. 

[They go into the house laughing. 

Simplicity. [Still from the tree.] I don't want 
ter marry anyone in the world but Pops — I'm 
goin' to wait until I'm grown up fer him. The 
trouble is, I'm afraid I'll never be good enough. 

[The Minister has entered through the gate 
and is going towards the house. Simplicity 
throws an apple and hits the Minister. 



31 8 LOVERS' LANE 

Minister. Hello, is that you, Simple? 

Simplicity. Yep. Come along up. 

Minister. T climb into that tree? Why, 
what would Mattie say? 

Simplicity. She wouldn't care unless you 
tore your pants. Come along up. 

Minister. No, you come down — come on — 
or you'll get into trouble. Look at all the 
trouble one woman got us into by fooling with 
an apple tree. 

[The Minister takes his hat off and lays it 
on the bench, going up to the tree. He coaxes 
Simplicity to come down. 

Minister. Come on down — come on down. 

Simplicity. No, not unless you come up after 
me first. 

Minister. We'll see if you won't ! 

[The Minister, reaching up to her, catches her 



LOVERS' LANE 319 

— trying to pull her down by the ankles. Sim- 
plicity kicks and laughs. 
Simplicity. Pops, you tickle me ! 
Minister. Come down, then. I'll paddy- 
whack you — that's what I'll do, if you don't. 
Simplicity. I'm not afraid. Ouch! 
Minister. Are you coming? 
Simplicity. No — ouch ! 
Minister. Yes you are, too. 
[Simplicity loses her hold. She slides down 
from the tree, and her dress catches on a snag 
as the Minister helps her down. 
Simplicity. Oh, did you hear that? 
Minister. Did it tear ? 
Simplicity. Yes, and you did it too, Pops ! 
Minister. By Jupiter — what'U Mattie say? 
Simplicity. [Trying to fix tear.] She walloped 
me yesterday fer doin' it, with her hair brush. 



320 LOVERS' LANE 

Minister. Try and keep out of sight until 
after prayers again. She didn't punish you 
the other night, did she? 

Simplicity. No, of course not, after the 
chapter you read. Pops. I thought it was 
awful good of you to choose one about being 
patient with transgressors. 

[She takes an apple out of her waist, and bites it. 

Minister. I wasn't thinking of you. Simple. 
I read that for Mrs. Woodbridge. 

Simplicity. [Throwing down apple.] Say, 
Pops, you've got to stop that. Mr. Brown 
has just been here ter say so. 

Minister. Mr. Brown ? To say what ? 

Simplicity. He says the church people are 
mad as hornets at you. 

Minister. Mad at me? Why? 

Simplicity. 'Cause you let Mrs. Woodbridge 
come and live with us. 



LOVERS' LANE 321 

Minister. What business is that of theirs? 

Simplicity. There's a meeting of the Council 
this afternoon. 

Minister. [Angry.] What? A church meet- 
ing without me? 

Simplicity. That's it, Pops. Get mad at 
them — don't you be afraid ! 

Minister. Did he say anything else? 

Simplicity. Yes. Lots ! They all liked Miss 
Mealey's singing. 

[Giggling. 

Minister. [Laughing.] No? Did he say 

that, Simple? [Laughs.] Oh, that's too good. 

[The Minister and Simplicity both laugh. 

Simplicity. And you preached an old sermon 
day before yesterday. 

Minister. Well, I did — I did. I couldn't 
get Mary Larkin's face out of my eyes long 
enough to write. 



322 LOVERS' LANE 

Simplicity. And Mrs. Woodbridge ? Oh, 
they're mad — you took her in. 

Minister. Poor woman ! They'd hound her 
out of the village if they could. 

Simplicity. That's what he said, Pops. It'd 
be good for you if you could happen in at the 
meeting and say that Mrs. Woodbridge was 
going to the City on the 5 : 30 train. 

[Mattie enters from house. 

Minister. [Angry.] I'll happen into the meet- 
ing and tell them she won't do any such thing. 

Mattie. [On the steps.] What, Tom? 

Minister. Why, there's trouble in the church 
over Mrs. Woodbridge. They've driven her 
out of the choir and out of her home, and now 
they want to drive her out of the Parsonage. 

Mattie. [Coming down.] Well, I'd like to 
see them do it. 



LOVERS' LANE 323 

Simplicity. Bully for you ! 

[Running to Mattie and taking her hand. 

Mattie. [Looking at Simplicity's hands.] For 
goodness' sake, go and wash your hands — ■ 
they're filthy ! 

[Simplicity goes, but sits down on the steps. 

Minister. She shall stay with me as long as 
she wants to. The Parsonage belongs to me. 
I'm going to give it to the church, but I haven't 
yet. 

Mattie. But Tom, dear, the church isn't 
yours. 

Minister. What do you mean, Mattie ? 

Mattie. The Council have the power to put 
you out of the church for good. 

Minister. Put me out? Put me — why, 
Mattie — how could you ever think of such a 
thing — me ? 



324 LOVERS' LANE 

Mattie. Well, suppose that you didn't satisfy 
them? 

Minister. Didn't satisfy them? What do 
they want? I've given them most of my money 
and all of my time. Why, the bell in that 
little square tower over there has never rung out 
once, in all these fifteen years for service, without 
our gate latching behind me before the third 
stroke. 

Mattie. Don't I know that, Tom, dear ? 

Minister. They'd never ask me to resign. 
Why, they couldn't do a cruel thing like that ! 
They can't help knowing that my heart and soul 
are mortared up in those red brick walls — Why, 
Mattie — Mattie — how could you ? 

[He goes over to the bench afid sits down. 

Mattie. Good gracious, Tom, I didn't want 
to make you feel this bad — 



LOVERS' LANE 325 

Minister. Oh, well, I guess Simple has been 
exaggerating a little. 

Mattie. Simple! Now I wish I'd punished her 
last night for tearing her dress again. Perhaps 
I will, anyway, when I go in. 

[Simplicity, who has been listening, runs into 
the house. 

Minister. How's little Dick? 

Mattie. 'Bout the same — fever high, but the 
Doctor says there's no danger. But that isn't 
my news ! It's Aunt Melissy. 

Minister. [Rising.] Not dead? 

Mattie. [Laughing.] No — worse — married ! 

Minister. Married? 

[Laughing incredulously. 

Mattie. She and Uncle Bill want your con- 
sent. 

Minister. Jupiter! What did you tell them?. 



326 LOVERS' LANE 

Mattie. Never was so stunned in my life ! 
I was speechless ! 

Minister. Speechless ! I guess it was for the 
first time, Mattie. 

Mattie. Well, I'd like to know where you'd 
be if it wa'n't for my tongue? 

Minister. Crowded out of existence long 
ago. I'll tell you how to let Aunt Melissy know 
my answer. You know those worsted slippers 
Molly Mealey gave me the other day? 

Mattie. Yes, I put them in the Missionary 
Church along with the others. 

Minister. Well, take them to Aunt Melissy, 
and say I sent them to her to give to Uncle 
Bill. 

[Enter Bridget from the house with broom and 
dust cap, her dress pinned up. 

Bridget. If yer plaze, there's such a foine 



LOVERS' LANE 327 

lady ter see ye. With kid gloves and par- 
asol and voice like a Frinch novel. Calls her- 
self Mrs. Lane. 

Mattie. Good gracious ! And the parlor fur- 
niture's got covers on, and the mosquito netting's 
all over the chandelier ! 

[Mattie hurries into the house. 

Minister. [Pauses.] Let her come here. 

Bridget. [Pause.] And Mrs. Brown and her 
two gabby friends is here to see Mattie. 

[Mrs. Lane enters from the house. 

Mrs. Lane. Good afternoon, Doctor. 

[Bridget goes into the house. 

Minister. Good day. To what am I in- 
debted for this pleasure? 

Mrs. Lane. As my brother, Mr. Woodbridge, 
acknowledged, he failed to accomplish anything 
with you yesterday. I have come to appeal to 



328 LOVERS' LANE 

the woman who was his wife and left him. Mrs. 
Woodbridge is staying at the Parsonage, I be- 
lieve ? 

Minister. That is true. 

Mrs. Lane. Is she at home? 

Minister. She is. 

Mrs. Lane. I have asked for you lest you 
should think I were doing something under- 
handed. I presume I may see her. 

Minister. If she has no objection. 

[Mrs. Brown, Molly Mealey and Mrs. 
Steele enter, all coming from the house and 
talking rapidly. 

All. Good afternoon. Minister. 

Minister. Good afternoon. [On seeing the 
•women, Mrs. Lane looks irritated.] Mrs. Brown, 
this is Mr?. Lane from New York. Mrs. Brown 
is the head woman of our church. 



LOVERS' LANE 329 

Mrs. Brown. [Comes forward to greet Mrs. 
Lane.] Pleased to meet you. 

[Turns up her nose. 

Mrs. Lane. [Drawing aside coldly.] How do 
you do? 

Minister. Miss Molly Mealey, the alto in 
our choir. You'd hear her sing a solo if you came 
to church. 

Miss Mealey. [Comes forward giggling.] How 
do you do? 

Mrs. Lane. [Drawing aside coldly.] How do 
you do, Miss Mealey? 

Minister. Mrs. Steele bakes the best bread in 
the whole town. We couldn't give a church 
sociable without her. 

Mrs. Steele. [Eyeing her critically, comes for- 
ward and says roughly :] How-de-do ? 

[The three women move away. 



330 LOVERS' LANE 

Mrs. Lane. [Walks to the steps of the house. 
She turns to the Minister.] Good afternoon, 
Doctor. I was to meet my brother here. If he 
comes after I have gone, will you be kind enough 
to say that I have returned to the hotel ? Ladies 

— good afternoon. 

[Goes into the house. The three ladies watch her. 
Mrs. Brown. Such airs ! 
Miss Mealey. [To Mrs. Brown.] I never 
saw such manners ! 

Minister. You see she comes from the City 

— she doesn't know any better ! 
Mrs. Steele. Y-e-s ! 

[The three gossip, and all laugh patronizingly and 

look at each other. 
Mrs. Brown. Is she staying at the Parsonage? 
Minister. Oh, no. 
Miss Mealey. We thought she might be 



LOVERS' LANE 331 

visiting Mrs. Woodbridge. She is staying at the 
Parsonage, we beUeve, for good now. 

Minister. Yes, she and her little boy, who is ill. 

Miss Mealey. So Miss Mattie told us. 
We've just been to see her — 

Mrs. Brown. Being a Committee of the Sew- 
ing Circle — 

Miss Mealey. Which was ter meet here 
to-morrow at the Parsonage — 

Mrs. Steele. Y-e-s. 

Minister. Isn't Mattie willing? You just 
leave her to me. 

Mrs. Brown. It's the ladies of the Sewing 
Circle who ain't willing, Mr. Minister. 

Miss Mealey. Whom we represent — 

Mrs. Steele. Y-e-s ! 

Mrs. Brown. If Mrs. Woodbridge is in the 
Parsonage, the ladies won't come. 



332 LOVERS' LANE 

Miss Mealey. We gave Miss Mattie her 
choice. 

Mrs. Brown, And she chose Mrs. Wood- 
bridge. 

Minister. Bully for Mattie ! 

Miss Mealey. Hem ! and we are now on our 
way to the Sunday-school room to report. 

[They start toward the gate. 

Mrs. Brown. To the Council that's in session 
there, and who are waiting to hear the result of 
our visit. 

Mrs. Steele. [To the Minister.] Y-e-s. 

Minister. You'd better not keep them wait- 
ing. 

Mrs. Brown. Doctor, perhaps you wouldn't 
^indorse Miss Mattie's decision. 

Minister. Wouldn't I? All I want is the 
chance. 



LOVERS' LANE 333 

Mrs. Brown. That settles it. 

[Goes Ihroiigh the gate. 
Mrs. Steele. Y-e-s. 

[She rushes out of gate, and joins Mrs. Brown. 
Miss Mealey. [Inside gate, half crying.] Are 
congratulations in order, Minister? 

Minister. Yes, for Aunt Melissy and Uncle 
Bill. 

Miss Mealey. [^1/ the gate.] I ain't joking, 
Minister. I think you'd better give me back 
those slippers I embroidered. 

Minister. [Recollects.] By Jupiter — it's too 
late now — I've given them to Uncle Bill ! 

Miss Mealey. [Half crying.] How dared 
you? 

[Going down the lane and out of sight, calling 
"Lizzie — Lizzie." Herbert Woodbridge 
enters. 



334 LOVERS' LANE 

Herbert. Has my sister gone ? 

Minister. Yes, to the hotel. 

Herbert. Well, what are you going to do for 
me? 

Minister. Nothing. You won't let me do 
anything for you. 

Herbert. Try me and see. 

Minister. Well, will you promise me to give 
up a life you can't afford — to give up drinking 
if you can't help getting drunk, and to try and 
live a life that will be an honor for Miss Larkin 
to share — 

Herbert. And if I won't promise all that? 

Minister. Then I must use my influence, if 
I have any, against you. 

Herbert. You've got a lot of influence. 
That's the curse of it ! I'll tell you what it is 
— I believe you are in love with her. 



LOVERS' LANE 335 

Minister. I? 

Herbert. Yes. Why did you take such an 
interest in her, and why did you give her a ring 
off your own hand, and one that you were evi- 
dently pretty fond of, too? And why have you 
got her o\cr here to teach school? Of course 
you're in love with her ! I want to know if you 
think it's an honest thing for you to take a man's 
wife away from him at the very moment of his 
marriage ! 

Minister. Look here, young man, do you 
know who you're talking to? 

Herbert. Yes, I do — I'm talking to the 
Minister whom I asked to marry me, and who, 
instead of doing so, is amusing himself by casting 
slurs on my character. A caddish thing to do ! 

Minister. Cad ! You'd better take that 
back. 



336 LOVERS' LANE 

Herbert. No, I won't. It was an underhand 
thing to do. 

[Makes a motion to strike the Minister. 
Minister. [Holding o_ff at ami's length.] Look 
out ! Preaching isn't the only thing I can do. 
I'm the captain of our ball nine, and the Congre- 
gationalists didn't knock out the Methodists last 
Spring for nothing. I can use my fists. 

[Herbert strikes viciously at the Minister. 
Herbert. Use them ! 

[The Minister, catching Herbert's arm, pre- 
vents the blow. He holds him fast. A tense 
pause. Then he lets go. 
Minister. I'm only afraid I will. 
Herbert. Afraid you will? 
Minister. Yes, I'm afraid I'll forget I'm a 
Minister, as you forgot that you were a gentle- 
man. 



LOVERS' LANE 337 

Herbert. [Shamed, turns from Minister.] 
I beg your pardon — I did forget myself. 

Minister. Why, you've no muscle ! If you'd 
been half as ready to fight the Evil One as you 
are to pitch into me, you'd get more strength of 
one kind, anyway. 

Herbert. You're right — I beg your pardon 
■ — it is I who am the cad. [Walks over to the tree. 

Minister. [WJwse eyes follow Herbert.] 
Now, that acknowledgment makes me respect 
you more than anything else you've said or done. 

Herbert. [Turning to him.] How's that ? 

Minister. Because there's hope for a man 
who can see he's been wrong and acknowledges 
it. You didn't behave right to your wife and 
boy, did you? 

Herbert. No, I didn't, and I'm sorry for it, 
too. A year ago I wanted to go to Lucy and ask 



338 LOVERS' LANE 

her to try me again, but my sister told me I'd be 
a fool. I had a feeling I'd like to see the boy. 
I used to wonder how he looked. I could only 
remember him as such a little chap. 

Minister. [With his hands on Herbert's 
shoulders.] Look here, there's good in you. 

Herbert. Not much, I guess. 

Minister. Yes, there is. Will you give me 
your promise to try for the next six months to do 
without those things which would keep Mary — 
Miss Larkin — from being happy ? 

Herbert. I'll try my best. 

Minister. You'll promise? 

Herbert. [Going tip to the Minister and shak- 
ing hands.] I'll promise. 

Minister. Good — • 

Herbert. In six months I'll come back and 
ask for Mary — 



LOVERS' LANE 339 

Minister. And I'll give her to you. 

Herbert. I shan't write to her, though, nor 
let her write to me. I'll tell her to-day, and say 
good-by. 

Minister. You'll find her at the schoolhouse. 

[Herbert goes toward the gate, and gets to the 
tree as Mrs. Woodbridge appears on the 
porch, coming from the house. 

Mrs. Woodbridge. [Coming down.] Doctor, 
Mrs. Lane has asked me to — ■ [She notices Her- 
bert.] She told me you were alone. Doctor. 

Herbert. [Turns, at sound of voice, sees Mrs. 
Woodbridge, and starts.] I am just saying 
good-by — 

Mrs. Woodbridge. Wait ! [Herbert stops.] 
It would, perhaps, be as well for you to hear what 
I have to say, that you may assure your sister 
I kept my word to her. [To the Minister.] 



340 LOVERS' LANE 

His sister wishes me to tell you — what I believe 
to be true — that her brother loves me dearly — 
that he never ill-treated me, and as I believe I 
said to you the other day, I think he is capable 
of better things. 

Herbert. Lucy — you are too generous to 
me. 

Mrs. Woodbridge. I am trying to be just — 
I confess that at such a time as this — [With 
emotion.] My heart feels tender towards my 
boy's father. 

Herbert. What do you mean? 

Mrs. Woodbridge. [With a sob in her voice.] 
I mean he is very ill. 

[Turning toward the house. 

Herbert. Ill ? Dick ! I should like to see 
him ! 

Mrs. Woodbridge. [Coming back.] What ! 



LOVERS' LANE 341 

Herbert*. [Pleading.] How I should like to 
see him ! 

Mrs. Woodbridge. No ! 

Herbert. [FoUoiving her.] Yes — let me see 
him. 

Mrs. Woodbridge. No — you shall not ! 

Herbert. [Determined.] He is my son ! I 
will ! [He starts to go. She stops him. 

Mrs. Woodbridge. You shall not ! I have 
spoken in your behalf for another woman, but I 
will not share the love of my child with her hus- 
band — he belongs only to me ! 

[There is a pause. Herbert hows his head and 
goes out through the gate. 

Minister. [To Mrs. Woodbridge.] My poor 
woman ! 

Mrs. Woodbridge. Oh, I am tired out — I 
didn't know what I was saying ! I don't know 



342 LOVERS' LANE 

what you think of me — but I love him in spite 

of everything — with all my heart ! 

Minister. There, there, come and take a walk 
under the trees. It will do you good. I'll go a 
little way with you. 

[They go out. Aunt Melissy enters from the 
house, followed by Uncle Bill, arguing. 

Aunt Melissy. No — I don't want anything 
more to do with you ! 

Uncle Bill. Look here, Melissy, don't break 
it off like that, so sudden-like. 

Aunt Melissy. Yes, I must. I couldn't look 
forward to a life of bickering and quarrelling like 
this — 

Uncle Bill. But if you'd only just let my 
grammar alone, Melissy — we'd be all right. 

Aunt Melissy. Yes, but your grammar 
wouldn't be. I hate to say it to you, Mr. Bill, 



LOVERS' LANE 343 

especially in anger, but you must know that some 
people consider it a misalliance for me to marry 
you anyway. 

Uncle Bill. What's that, Melissy? 

Aunt Melissy. Marrying beneath my social 
station. [Uncle Bill tries to interrupt.] Not 
that I think it, goodness knows ! 

Uncle Bill. Well, then, why not shake hands, 
kiss and make up ! 

Aunt Melissy. [Puts her hands to her ears and 
says :] H-a-y-e ? 

Uncle Bill. I say why not shake hands, and 
kiss and make up ! 

[Aunt Melissy turns away from Uncle Bill. 

Aunt Melissy. No, I can't forget your spirit 
when I corrected your grammar. 

Uncle Bill. But you did it five times to 
once, Melissy. 



344 LOVERS' LANE 

Aunt Melissy. Well, you oughtn't have given 
me the chance. 

Uncle Bill. All right, then — if it's all over 
— it's over. I did lose my temper, but I'm likely 
to do it again. I guess it's better so. But I 
can't keep these here. [Handing her one slipper 
which he takes from under his vest.] You'll have 
to take yer present back. [Handing her the other 
slipper.] Perhaps you'll find somebody else that 
they'll fit, whose tongue will fit the Enghsh lan- 
guage better — [Aunt Melissy goes toward the 
gate. Uncle Bill watches her until she gets to 
the gate. Following.] Where be yer goin', Miss 
MeUssy ? 

Aunt Melissy. H-a-y-e ? 

Uncle Bill. I say where be yer goin' ? 

Aunt Melissy. [At the gate.] I'm going down 
Lovers' Lane to think. Hope it'll do me some 



LOVERS' LANE 345 

good. And you needn't wait to take me home 
after the meeting, Mr. Bill, 'cause I don't want 
yer ! [Goes off down the lane. 

Uncle Bill. [/;/ thoiti^lit at the foot of the steps 
of house] I know what I'll do — I'll go and buy 
one of them spelling grammars first thing in the 
morning. [Goes into the house. 

Simplicity. [Rushes out from the house, carry- 
ing a milk-pail, Mary Larkin following her. Sim- 
plicity calls.] Pops! [The Minister comes 
from orchard.] Pops, here's Miss Larkin come 
to see you — says she brought something of yours 
back. 

Minister. How do you do, Miss Larkin? 

Mary. How do you do. Doctor Singleton ? 

Minister. Where are you going. Simple? 

Simplicity. Oh, you needn't hint, Pops. I 
know two's company and three ain't allowed, but 



346 LOVERS' LANE 

I couldn't stay if I wanted. Aunt Mattie found 
a tear in my dress, and is making me milk the cow 
for punishment. 

Minister. I guess you've worn out Aunt 
Mattie's patience. 

Simplicity. Well, the next thing I wear out 
will be that cow. [Calling back from the gate.] 
I guess she'll wish she'd never been born, before 
I get through milking her. 

Minister. Simple, don't forget you're a mem- 
ber of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty 
to Animals. 

Simplicity. [Running down to the Minister.] 
Pops, when Miss Mattie gave me that there order, 
I temporarily resigned and stuck my badge on 
Bridget ! Pops, I won't do a thing to that cow ! 

[Runs out. 

Minister. Don't you hke Simple? 



LOVERS' LANE 347 

Mary. [Coming down from the porch.] Yes, 
of course I do. 

Minister. She's an orphan. Nobody could 
understand her — thought she was bad. She 
was in three asylums in two months, and after a 
while there wasn't one in the State that would 
have her — she's so sensitive, it hurts her feelings. 
I took her to live in the Parsonage, and now 
couldn't get along without her. 

Mary. [Going over to the bench under the tree.] 
Doctor, were you ever unkind to anybody ? 

Minister. [Following Mary.] I am afraid I 
was not as kind to Mr. Woodbridge on Saturday 
as I ought to have been. 

Mary. Oh, that reminds me why I came — 
I am afraid you thought it very odd of me com- 
ing over here so often — now own up, didn't 
you. Doctor? 



348 LOVERS' LANE 

Minister. No, I don't know as I thought 
anything. I was just enjoying it without 
thinking — 

Mary. Oh, Doctor, may I have an apple? 

Minister. Yes, indeed, you must excuse me 
for not offering you one before. [Looking tip the 
tree, he sees an apple, but it is out of his reach. He 
jumps for the apple.] Here's a beauty ! 

Mary. Yes, but it's out of your reach. 

Minister. Wish it were the only thing out 
of my reach ! 

[He stands for a moment in a trance, and then goes 
to Mary. 

Mary. Nothing ought to be out of your reach. 
Doctor. And nothing would be if it only knew 
you wanted it, I'm sure. 

[Turns her face away. 

Minister. [Almost about to embrace her.] 



LOVERS' LANE 349 

Jupiter, I was forgetting about your apple ! Oh, 
here's one. 

[He stands on the bench to reach the apple, and 

hands it to Mary. 
Mary. A splendid one — have you got a knife ? 
Minister. Yes, siree — a beauty. The Dea- 
cons gave it to me two Christmases ago. 

Mary. [Handing him the apple.] Oh, a splen- 
did one — now cut it in half. 

Minister. No, I don't want any. 
Mary. Yes, you must eat half with me. 
[The Minister digs out the seeds and cuts the apple 
in half.] No, save the seeds, and we'll wish with 
them ! 

Minister. How? 

Mary. Don't you know how ? I'll show you. 
Oh, you're so tall I must get up on the bench. [She 
gets on bench to reach him.] Now, close your eyes. 



3 so LOVERS' LANE 

Minister. Close my eyes — ? 

Mary. You're not afraid, are you? 

Minister. No, but if I do I can't see you. 

Mary. Never mind that — I can see you. 
Go on, now close them. [The Minister closes 
his eyes.] Now, are they tight closed — so you 
can't see a bit? [The Minister nods his head. 
She leans toward him and throws a kiss.] Now, 
come a little nearer, please. First I put an apple 
seed on each one of your eyelids. There, now 
— wish! [Short pause.] Have you wished? 

Minister. Yes, but my nose itches, — may I 
scratch it ? 

Mary. [Frightened.] No ! that might knock 
off the seeds. Now, wink three times, and if one 
of the seeds stays on, you'll get your wish. 

Minister. I've done it — are they both off? 

Mary. [Jumping down from the bench.] No, 



LOVERS' LANE 351 

they're both on — you'll get your wish ! What 
was it? 

Minister. I thought it wouldn't come true if 
I told you ? 

Mary. Well, of course we're only joking. 
I'm afraid you think me a perfect child. 

Minister. Perfect ? Yes. 

Mary. [Serious.] What did you wish for? 
Something for yourself ? 

Minister. No, not for myself — it was for you. 
[Taking her hand.] I wished that when Spring 
comes, after all the fruits of the Autumn have been 
gathered and the dead stalks of the branches have 
been thrown away, there will come with the new 
blossoms a new Herbert Woodbridge — [releases 
her hand] giving you a new love and life worthy 
of you. And the happiness you crave. 

Mary. [Sadly.] Thank you, sir. That re- 



35 2 LOVERS' LANE 

minds me, I haven't told you yet why I came. 
It was to give you back your ring. 

Minister. But I thought you were going to 
keep it while you waited. 

Mary. Yes, but I have told Mr. Woodbridge 
I can never marry him. 

Minister. But you mustn't decide that too 
suddenly — I believe I was not quite fair to 
him yesterday. 

Mary. He told me everything, — things I'd 
never heard of before. I didn't think him that 
kind of a man. I thought him good like you. 

Minister. Perhaps you can make him good. 
I'm afraid I'm to blame for your feeling this way. 
Give him one more chance, won't you? 

Mary. I can't promise to marry him if I 
can't love him when he comes back. 

INIiNiSTER. I don't want you to do that. 
Only give him a chance until Spring. 



LOVERS' LANE 353 

Mary. I will if you wish it. But you must 
take back the ring. 

Minister. Well, I will — but why? 

Mary. [Going toward the Jwuse.] Because, Dr. 
Singleton, I know when Herbert comes in the 
Spring my heart will not beat one bit quicker. 

Minister. Ah, you mustn't be too sure ! It 
isn't fair to him. 

Mary. I can't help it — I know now I shall 
never marry. Good-by. 

[She walks toward the porch. 

Minister. [Following lier.] And my wish? 

Mary. You see, you told it, so it can't come 
true. Good-by. 

[She goes into the house. 

Minister. Good-by. [He watches her as she 
disappears through the door.] What am I 
thinking about — I have given my promise to 
persuade her to wait till the Spring. [A pause. 



354 LOVERS' LANE 

Simplicity appears, going slowly.] Till Spring — 
[He sits on the bench.] Till Spring. [A bird sings 
in the tree, and Simplicity creeps up behind him. 
The Minister, in deep study, does not look at her.] 
Is that you, Simple? 

Simplicity. [Half crying.] Yes, Pops. I know 
what's the matter with you, Pops ! 

Minister. There's nothing the matter with 
me, Simple. 

Simplicity. [Crying.] Pops, you're in love 
with her ! 

Minister. What makes you think so. Simple ? 

Simplicity. 'Cause when she went into the 
house your eyes followed her and — Oh, Pops — ■ 

[Throwing her arms around him and crying still 
louder. 

Minister. [Trying to comfort her.] Why, Simple, 
Simple dear. Why, Simple, what is it — what is it ? 



LOVERS' LANE 355 

Simplicity. [Kneeling beside him — still 
louder.] I want to marry you myself ! 

Minister. Why, she's going to marry Mr. 
Woodbridge. Lots of us can't marry the people 
we want to. There, there, dear, I'm not going 
to marry anyone at all. [Rising.] No one at all. 

[He lifts her up. 
Simplicity. Then neither am I — I'll be an 
old maid like Miss Mattie. 

Minister. Now, wipe your eyes and cheer up. 
I've got my church to give my life to. I've got 
my church to comfort me. 

[J bird sings in the tree, and Deacon Steele, 
Mr. and Mrs. Brown, Molly Mealey 
and Mrs. Steele enter through the gate. 
Mr. Brown. Good evenin', Minister. 
Minister. Good evening. 
Deacon Steele. Good evening ! We've come 



356 LOVERS' LANE 

to see you on a serious business. Ahem! We — 
perhaps we'd better go into the house. 

Mr. Brown. There's no harm in staying 
here — it's pleasant after the close Sunday-school 
room. 

Minister. Yes, I wrote to town this evening 
for some new ventilators I saw advertised in the 
Observer. 

Mr. Brown. I think, Minister, you'd better 
send Simple in. 

Minister. Yes, you go in, Simple. Why, 
where's your milk ? 

Simplicity. [From the foot of the steps.] The 
cow kicked over the pail and spilt all the milk. 

Minister. What have you done with the pail ? 

Simplicity. Left it there. 'Cause I thought 
like as not Miss Mattie would make me go back 
and milk her all over again. 



LOVERS' LANE 357 

[She (^oes into the house. Brown laughs heartily. 

Steele. What are you laughing at, Brown? 
That child grows worse every day. 

Uncle Bill. [Enters from the house.] Good 
evening — good evening ! 

Everybody. Good evening. 

Uncle Bill. Nearly time for evening meeting. 
And the bell has never rung a second late since 
old Walters took to ringing it. 

[Goes out. 

Minister. I had no idea it was so late. 

Steele. Well, Minister, as Mr. Brown told yer, 
there's bin a meetin' of the Council this after- 
noon — 

Minister. Yes, and it hurt me a good deal 
that I wasn't wanted. 

Mattie. [Coming out from the house, with her 
bonnet and shawl on.] Good evening. 



3s8 LOVERS' LANE 

Everybody. Good evening, Miss Mattie. 

Mr. Brown. Goin' to meetin' pretty early, 
Miss Mattie. 

Mattie. Yes, I want to mend our seat cushion 
before it begins. Simple wiggles so during the 
sermon, she wears her place out in no time. 

{Goes out. 

Steele. [To //jg Minister.] I guess we'd better 
be quick about what we've come to say, Minister. 
That Council was called because of the dissatis- 
faction, ahem — the — I may say wide-spread 
dis-sat-isfaction that has — ahem — that has 
been felt by your entire congregation — ahem — 
for some time. [Taking out Resolutions from his 
pocket.] I have been deputed by the Council to 
see you concerning the facts which they set forth 
with a — ahem — great generosity, as follows : 
You have encouraged beggars by taking in Aunt 



LOVERS' LANE 359 

Melissy and old Bill Walters, and given them — 
ahem — a home. You have damaged the char- 
acter of our county Orphan Asylum by taking in 
your house a child which it had refused to shelter. 
You have robbed of her position the faithful 
and sweet teacher of our — [Molly weeps silently. 
Mrs. Brown encourages her — petting her] school 
to further your own ends. And for fifteen years 
you have neglected — ahem -^ I can put this 
stronger — you have refused to take a helpmate 
from your congregation, which contains many 
well-favored women willing to help you in your 
work. 

Mr. Brown. Willing? Anxious! 

[Mrs. Brown takes Mr. Brown by the arm, and 
jerks him roughly to her. 

Steele. We ain't satisfied with your laxity 
and freedom. We don't want a new doctrine 



36o LOVERS' LANE 

upsettin' the old order — we don't want a billiard 
table in the young men's club. We don't want 
playing cards in the social parlors. It's rumored 
you've even written a sermon upholdin' the 
new-fangled doctrine of there being no such thing 
as Fire and Brimstun ! You have harbored in 
your house a woman who has, of her own free will, 
sundered her marriage vow, thus bringing scandal 
on the community — ahem ! Do you deny any 
of these charges? 

[The choir of the evening meeting is heard sing- 
ing. 

Minister. No. 

Steele. It is, then — my — ahem — painful 
duty to infown you that, unless Mrs. Woodbridge 
and her child leave your house at once, the Coun- 
cil feels obliged to ask — ahem — demand — 
your resignation — to take effect at once. 



LOVERS' LANE 361 

Minister. At once? But it's time for eve- 
ning meeting now. 

Steele. [Takingoff his glasses.] Deacon Frost 
has kindly volunteered to lead, if you decide to 
resign. Will you give us your answer at once? 

Minister. Yes. 

Mr. Brown. Maybe you'd like to think it 
over, Minister. If so, we will go away and come 
back. 

[He starts to go. 

Mrs. Brown. [Pulling him back.] Oh, no we 
won't ! 

Steele. Well, what is it ? 

[.4// breathless — impatient. 

Minister. A little while ago I said to my 
sister, the bell in that little square tower over 
there has never rung once in all these fifteen years 
for service without our little gate latching behind 



362 LOVERS' LANE 

me. before the third stroke, but if it should ring 
till midnight to-night, it wouldn't find me one 
step nearer than I am now. 

Steele. That's not answering us. 

Minister. If I finish the sermon that's on my 
desk now, I'm afraid it would be a plea for 
Purgatory after all — 

Steele. [To the others.] Ah, he's compromis- 
ing ! 

Minister. You want my answer — well, take 
it. I have wasted my time among you — -lost 
my strength — and if you were to withdraw 
every one of your charges now, my answer would 
still be the same — / am ashamed of you all ! 

Steele. Then your answer is — 

Minister. My resignation ! 

{The Minister stands motionless. They all go 
of through the gate. Molly Mealey sohs. 



LOVERS' LANE 363 

The church bell rings, which brings the Minis- 
ter to his senses. He starts toward the gate 
as if to go to church, partly opens it, and walks 
slowly back. There is a pause, and then he 
sits down on the bench under the tree in a sort 
of dream, as 

THE CURTAIN FALLS 



ACT IV 

Scene : The orchard. The same set as for 
Act III, only changed from an Autumn to a 
Spring morning. The apple tree is in full 
blossom. An easel and painting-stool, paints, 
brushes, etc., are on the lawn. Simplicity dis- 
covered by the tree, examining the bark. 
Simplicity. I'm sure Pops was cutting some- 
thing on this tree. I knew it — he was cutting 
her name ! M-a-r-y — [She tries to scratch the 
letters from the tree with a knife.] There, I won't 
have her name on my apple tree. 

Mattie. [Appears at an upper window of the 
house, calling.] Simple — Simple — [Simplicity 
hides behind the tree.] I guess she's gone down to the 
364 



LOVERS' LANE 365 

village. [Speaking back into the room.] Bridget, 
you're positively the most shiftless person I ever 
knew — [Simplicity climbs up into the tree.] 
I declare to goodness you haven't done a stroke 
of work to-day. Nobody could have rheumatism 
a day like this. [Mary Larkin enters from the 
house. She goes to the easel, arranging paints, etc.] 
It's only an excuse to get out of your work. 
[Catching sight of Miss Larkin.] Oh, you found 
your way out, all right. I wish I wasn't so over- 
run with work this morning — I'd sit right here in 
the window, and you could put me in the picture. 

Mary. Thank you, but I didn't intend to do 
the house. I hope I haven't interrupted you too 
much. I tried to come across the hills through 
the gate — but I couldn't ; it was fastened. 

Mattie. Yes, siree, — when I came home from 
that meeting last Fall, led by old Deacon Frost, 



366 LOVERS' LANE 

and found out why the Minister wasn't there, I 
nailed up that gate hard with a hatchet. And 
says I to him, " Nobody goes through that gate 
again till you do, — back to your rightful place in 
the pulpit yonder." 

Mary. I don't blame you. Miss Mattie. You 
don't mind my making a sketch of your orchard, 
do you ? 

Mattie. Good land, no ! 

Mary. You see, I don't know when I shall ever 
get here again, and I want a little souvenir of the 
place. 

Mattie. It's a pity you're leaving the school 
— it's just them jealous women that's making 
your life a burden here. 

Mary. Oh, no ! [Begins to paint. 

Mattie. [Turning from the window and speak- 
ing back into the room.] Now, what is it, Bridget? 



LOVERS' LANE 367 

For the land's sake, put a hot raisin on it, and tie 
your cheek up with a hot cloth. But don't take 
to having the toothache too often, or I'll forbid 
you that, along with the rheumatism. [ To Mary.] 
For the goodness sake, Miss Larkin, if you ever 
marry, don't have a cook in i)oor health. 

[Minister enters from the house as Mattie dis- 
appears from the whidow. 

Simplicity. [In the tree.] Don't she think 
she's smart — pretending to come here and paint 
the orchard. Who ever heard of painting an 
orchard — it's just an excuse to see Pops ! 

Minister. Good morning. 

[At the sound of his voice, Simplicity starts, hut 
recovers quickly. The Minister looks over 
Mary's shoulder as she paints. 

Mary. [Looking up.] Good morning. Dr. 
Singleton. 



368 LOVERS' LANE 

Simplicity. [In /':e tree, mocking Mary.] Good 
morning, Dr. Singleton. 

Minister. [Looking at the picture.] Oh, you're 
putting us in ? 

Mary. Trying to. Do you remember that 
day? 

Minister. It was just six months ago, yester- 
day. 

Mary. Yesterday — and Herbert hasn't come. 
Do you know what I heard in the village this 
morning? 

Minister. No — what ? 

Mary. [Smiling and painting.] The new 
Minister's leaving. 

Minister. What ! The last one — why, he's 
only been here a month. 

Mary. I know it. But he says he can't 
stand it — there's no pleasing them. I told Mrs. 
Brown I was glad of it. 



LOVERS' LANE 369 

Minister. You'd better look out or she won't 
let you board with her any longer. 

Mary. What do you think — she agreed with 
me! 

Minister. No ! 

Mary. Yes, she did, and she said it would 
teach the people a lesson. 

Bridget. [Comiiif^ out of the house with a red 
flannel cloth tied around her face, as if suffer- 
ing from toothache.] If you plaze, surr, Miss 
Mattie's after asking if you're going to the post 
office? 

Minister. Yes, I'm going right away, Bridget. 
[Bridget goes back into the house. 

Mary. Doctor, will you ask if there are any 
letters for me too, please? 

Minister. Yes. I know from whom you 
mean. A letter or he must come to-day. 

[He goes toward the house. 



370 LOVERS' LANE 

Mary. Good -by. 

[The Minister turns at the porch. 

Minister. Good-by. 

Mary. Good-by ! 

Simplicity. [In the tree, mockingly.] Good- 
by — it's about time she went back to her own 
town to live ! Anyhow, I'm going to get Pops 
out of her head. 

[Suddenly jumps from the tree, frightening Mary. 

Mary. Oh, how you frightened me ! 

Simplicity. Did I — what 'cher doing ? 

[Going over to Mary. 

Mary. Painting. 

Simplicity. What ? 

Mary. The orchard — don't you see? 

Simplicity. [Coming behind her, and looking 
over Mary's shoulder, she rubs her finger on the 
canvas.] What's that? 



LOVERS' LANE 371 

Mary. Oh, please be careful — you'll spoil it. 

Simplicity. [Sulkily.] 'Scuse me ! 

Mary. That's the bench under the tree, with 
Dr. Singleton on it. 

Simplicity. Who's that going to be by him — 
Mis' Woodbridge? 

Mary. No, I am on the bench. [After a 
pause.] Simple, what made you think it was Mrs. 
Woodbridge ? 

Simplicity. 'Cause Pops is in love with her. 
[Waiting to see the effect.] I say Pops is in love 
with Mrs. Woodbridge. That's why he took 
up for her against the church. I guess they'll be 
married soon. 

Mary. [Rising from the stool.] I don't believe 
it! 

Simplicity. Don't you? That's because you're 
in love with him yourself. 



372 LOVERS' LANE 

Mary. How dare you say that — how dare 
you? You're a bad, impudent Httle girl — that's 
what you are ! 

Simplicity. I thought I'd make you mad 
before I got through. Everybody sees you're 
in love with him. 

Mary. [Half crying — very angry.] You've 
no right to say such a thing ! Suppose he had 
heard you ? I — I — I hate you j [Going up to 
the picture.] Simplicity, I hate you — I hate 
you! You'll see if I love him. [She takes her 
palette knife from the easel, and zig-zags across the 
picture.] There, there, there ! I wouldn't do 
that if I loved him ! And you can tell everybody 
who's said so that I love Herbert — Woodbridge, 
and that he's coming to marry me to-day. Oh, 
you spiteful Uttle thing — I hate you — I hate 
you! 



LOVERS' LANE 373 

{She drops the knife mid rushes away through the 

trees. 
Simplicity. [Watches her out of sight; then she 
picks up the camp stool and knocks down the easel] 
I hate you too — I hate you ! I've separated you 
and Pops, but I wish I was dead ! 

[She throws herself on the bench and sobs ^vio- 
lently. Mrs. Brown, carrying a parasol, 
and Miss Mealey appear at the gate, trying 
to open it, but cannot. 
Miss Mealey. I can't open it. 
Mrs. Brown. Let me try — you haven't 
strength enough to kill a mosquito. 

[She struggles with the locked gate, but fails to 

open it. The noise arouses Simplicity. 
Simplicity. You can't get in that way — Miss 
Mattie's nailed Lovers' Lane up. 
Mrs. Brown. [From the other side of the 



374 LOVERS' LANE 

gate, very sweetly.] Oh, Simplicity, how do you 

do? 

Miss Mealey. How do you do ? 

Simplicity. [Not moving from the bench.] My 
health's pretty good, I thank you. You'll have 
to go around to the front if you want to get in. 

Mrs. Brown. Oh, dear ! We haven't time to 
do that. 

Miss Mealey. Perhaps if Miss Mattie knew 
what we come for, she'd let us in this way. 

Simplicity. Well, I'll call her. Miss Mattie 
— Miss Mattie — Miss Mattie ! 

[She runs into the house. 

Mrs. Brown. [Still outside the gate.] Now, 
Molly Mealey, for Heaven's sake, don't make a 
fool of yourself like the last time you were here. 
Throwing out hints to Dr. Singleton, after being 
snubbed by everyone of those new preachers ! 



LOVERS' LANE 375 

You ought to begin to see the Lord never intended 
you for a minister's wife. 

Miss Mealey. I wish you'd mind your own 
business, Mrs. Brown. Just because you're the 
mother of seven, you needn't think nobody else 
can have a chance — I'm something of a flirt, 
but I'm not fickle ! 

[Mattie comes from the house. 

Mrs. Brown. [At the gate, very pleasantly.] 
Good morning, Miss Mattie. 

Mattie. [Shortly.] How do you do ? 

Mrs. Brown. We just thought we'd drop in. 

Mattie. It's taken you about six months to 
think it. 

Miss Mealey. Can we get in this way? 

Mattie. Yes. 

Miss Mealey and Mrs. Brown. [Very 
pleased.] 0-oh ! 



376 LOVERS' LANE 

Mattie. If you can climb ! 

Mrs. Brown. Oh, now, Miss Mattie ! 

Mattie. No, siree. When you shut that gate 
against the Minister, you shut it against your- 
selves too. 

Mrs. Brown. But we've come to open it 
again for him, now. 

Mattie. What? 

Miss Mealey. And we've come to ask if 
you'll let the Sewing Circle meet here next week? 

Mattie. Why? 

Mrs. Brown. And the choir wants to know if 
Mrs. Woodbridge will be willing to sing again, 
beginning next Sunday? 

Mattie. Good land! 

Miss Mealey. Do let the Sewing Circle meet 
here, Miss Mattie ! 

Mattie. Is the world coming to an end? 



LOVERS' LANE 377 

Mrs. Brown. And do try and make Mis' 
Woodbridge sing ! 

Mattie. Well, I am — Uncle Bill — Uncle Bill ! 

Uncle Bill. [From the Iwuse.] Yes? 

Mattie. Come here and see if you can open 
Lovers' Lane gate. 

Uncle Bill. [Comes out to open the gate.] 
Good day, Mis' Brown and Miss Mealey. 

[He tries the gate to see how it is nailed. 

Mrs. Brown and Miss Mealey. Good 
morning, Uncle Bill. 

Mattie. [Calling.] Bridget — Bridget ! 

Bridget. [Cotnes to the door.] Yes'm. 

Mattie. Tell Aunt Melissy to bring a hatchet. 

Bridget. All right, marm — I will. 

[Goes in. 

Mattie. [Going over to the gate, too.] I'll get 
the gate open, and then we can talk it over. 



378 LOVERS' LANE 

Mrs. Brown. We've come to tell you, too, 
there's a Council being held in the Sunday-school 
room, and Brown told me, confidential, he thought 
they were going to draw up Resolutions begging 
Dr. Singleton to come back. 

[Aunt Melissy comes, bringing the hatchet. She 
has the slippers also. 

Mattie. [Following Aunt Melissy. Uncle 
Bill takes the hatchet from Aunt Melissy, and 
works at the gate.] It's about time ! 

Uncle Bill. The Minister coming back? 

[He sings ^' Glory, glory, Hallelujah !'^ as the gate 
gives way. 

Mattie. [Holds the gate open and then all, 
except Uncle Bill and Aunt Melissy, come 
through on their ivay to the house.] I think we'll 
go right into the setting-room and talk things over. 

Mrs. Brown. Yes — let's. 



LOVERS' LANE 379 

Miss Mealey. Is Dr. Singleton there? 

[Aunt Melissy goes over and sits on the bench. 

Mattie. No — he's gone down to the post 
office — don't know as he'll be willing to go back 
to the church. He feels dreadfully injured at the 
way he's been treated. 

[They all, except Aunt Melissy and Uncle 
Bill, go in the house. 

Uncle Bill. [Going to bench, as if to sii down 
by Aunt Melissy. Sees no room, so moves around 
her to the other side.] I think I'll sit down a spell, 
if there ain't no objections. 

Aunt Melissy. H-a-y-e — 

Uncle Bill. I say I think I'll sit down a spell, 
if there ain't no objections. [Sitting beside her. 

Aunt Melissy. I'll be glad to have you, Mr. 
Bill. 

Uncle Bill. [Opening the grammar.] I've 



38o LOVERS' LANE 

been studying this yere grammar for nigh onto 
six months — and don't seem to get on very well 
with it. 

Aunt Melissy. [Playing with the slippers.] 
Never mind the grammar, Billy. Grammar isn't 
everything. Will you take the slippers back? 
You see, I've kep' 'em. 

Uncle Bill. [Taking them.] I'll wear them 
next my heart. 

Aunt Melissy. Yes, I was a silly old woman — 

Uncle Bill. No, you wasn't. [Rising and 
walking toward the gate.] Come along with me 
down Lovers' Lane. I want to find out if it's 
true they're going to ask the Minister to come 
back. And if it is, I'm going to ring the old bell 
for him and for us. 

Herbert. [Enters at the gate.] Is Dr. Single- 
ton in ? 



LOVERS' LANE 381 

Uncle Bill. No. But he will be, soon. How- 
somever, this ain't the front door. 

[Aunt Melissy rises and follows Uncle Bill. 
Herbert. No, but they told me this was a 
short cut from the depot, and I'm in a hurry. 
[Uncle Bill and Aunt Melissy go out through 
the gate, humming " Comin'' through the Rye " 
in discord. Herbert knocks at the door of the 
house. 
Bridget. [Calling from the window above.] 
Who's down there? [Herbert comes out to the 
steps, and when she sees him she says :] Ah — we 
don't want to buy anything. 

Herbert. [Looking up.^ I haven't anything 
to sell. Is Dr. Singleton at home? 

Bridget. Oh, it's a caller yer are ? I axes your 
pardon, but yer shouldn't come around to the 
back door. The Minister's out. 



382 LOVERS' LANE 

Herbert. When will he be back ? 

Bridget. Sure, it's like to be at any minute. 
Will yez come in ? 

Herbert. No, I'll wait here if I may — 

Bridget. You may. 

[Leaves the whtdow. 

Mary. [Coming down through the orchard.] 
Herbert ! — [She is startled, but recovers herself.] 
You have come back. 

Herbert. Yes, Mary — [He puts out his hand 
■ — she takes it.] I went to East Eddysville, and 
they said you were living at Eddys Corners. 

Mary. I came over this morning to do a 
sketch of the orchard, because — because — I 
thought soon, perhaps, I'd be going away for 
good, and I wanted something to remember — 
Herbert, I know when you went away I promised 
to marry you. I can't do it — don't ask me to ! 



LOVERS' LANE 383 

Herbert. What do you mean, Mary? 

Mary. I don't love you any longer. 

Herbert. Mary, I have been dreading for 
weeks confessing to you, but now you have made 
it easy for me. 

Mary. Made what ? 

Herbert. I've done pretty well — I've finished 
with most of the old life. I felt I ought to tell you 
when I came back, I hadn't done it all for you. 
I never loved you as a man should love a woman 
whom he asks to marry him. I know you will 
probably despise me — I have been turned adrift 
by my wife whom, in spite of everything, I love 
and always will love. I was lonely and hard up 
and liked you, and your money would have 
pulled me out of a bad hole. Do you believe 
such a man as that could ever come to anything ? 

Mary. Yes — Dr. Singleton says there is good 



384 LOVERS' LANE 

in everybody, only sometimes other bodys won't 

take the time or trouble to find it out. 

Herbert. Dr. Singleton says — Mary, is it 
Dr. Singleton who has made this orchard dear to 
you? 

Mary. It isn't fair to ask me that — 

Herbert. Why not? We must seal our 
friendship — you and I — with our confidences. 
I shall have something to tell you. 

Mary. But Dr. Singleton does not care for 
me. 

Herbert. You mean he hasn't shown you his 
love — that's my fault. I say he loved you the 
day he gave you the ring in his study. I saw he 
loved you. • 

Mary. No — no ! You're wrong. He is go- 
ing to marry — 

Herbert. Who? 



LOVERS' LANE 385 

Mary. Can't you guess? 
Herbert. Lucy? 
Mary. Yes. 

Herbert. Why did I never think of it ? Why 
did I never see that danger ? 

[Herbert sees Mrs. Woodbridge at the window. 

He moves closer to the house so as not to he seen. 

Little Dick appears at the window, too. 

Herbert. And I've been hoping she might 

try to forgive me — but it's only just — only 

just — 

[He breaks off to listen. Mrs. Woodbridge is 
singing a song to Dick. Herbert touches 
Mary to listen. 
Mary. Sh — sh — there she is. 
Herbert. My boy, my boy ! Do you think 
she's coming out here? I'd rather go away with- 
out her seeing me. 



386 LOVERS' LANE 

Mary. [Gathers together her painting things and 
easel.] She won't come here. 

[Mrs. Woodbridge leaves the window. 

Herbert. [Tries stealthily to see the boy.] The 
sight of me now would only cast a shadow over 
her new happiness. 

Mary. I never dreamed Dr. Singleton cared 
for her in that way. 

Herbert. [Coming closer to Mary.] I'd like to 
see my boy just once. Could you bring Dick out 
to me without her knowing? I won't tell him 
who I am. I should like to see him. 

Mary. I'll go and get him — [She goes. 

Herbert. [To himself.] I oughtn't to have 
asked her to carry him. He's too heavy. 

[Mary enters from the house, leading Dick. 

Herbert. [Starts with astonishment.] Why, he's 
walking — but he was lame — it isn't my Dick ! 



LOVERS' LANE 387 

Mary. Yes, it is. 

[Helps little Dick down one or two steps ; leaves 
him with Iris father, turning hack into house. 

Herbert. [Kneeling and holding out his hands 
to Dick.] Is your name Dick? [Dick nods his 
head, "Yes.''] You aren't afraid of me? [Dick 
makes no answer.] Why, of course not — [Dick 
shakes his head, "No''; then, with a sudden im- 
pulse, goes toward his father.] Why, I wouldn't hurt 
you. [Kneeling, he takes the child in his arms, and 
clasps him to him with emotion.] Why, I'm your 
— I'm your — My God ! — What am I to say? 
I'm your friend — your friend — [He holds the 
boy before him.] There now, you're taller than I 
am, aren't you ? I thought you were a little lame 
boy — you were once, weren't you? [Dick nods 
" Yes."] I thought so — I thought so — It's 
your mother who has done all this for you — I 



388 LOVERS' LANE 

thought so ! You can never love your mother 
enough ! Do you hear that ? Never ! When 
you grow up, you must love her just the same, and 
when she grows old, you must hold her close to 
your heart — and cherish her always — will you ? 
Will you, Dick? [Dick nods "Yes.''] Ah, you 
don't understand all that, do you, my boy? 
[Dick shakes his head.] No, and you don't know 
what it is to see something you want with all your 
soul belong to another, and know that you threw 
her away. Dick — Dick — listen, my httle man! 
Do you ever hear of a father ? [Dick nods " Yes.'^] 
And your mother lets you speak of him? [He 
nods "Fg5."] When? [Dick folds his little hands 
together^ When you pray ? When you — Oh, 
my God ! [He breaks down. Dick pushes away, 
frightened.] There — there, I've been frightening 
you. Don't be frightened of me — because I 
want you to kiss me — will you ? I want you 



LOVERS' LANE 389 

to put your two arms around my neck — around 
my neck, — just as you do about your mother's. 
Will you, Dick? 

[Mrs. Woodbridge appears on the porch. 

Mrs. Woodbridge. Herbert ! 

Herbert. [The child runs to Mrs. Wood- 
bridge.] Lucy ! 

Mrs. Woodbridge. You see he is well — quite 
well. 

Herbert. Yes — you won't begrudge me my 
moment with him, will you? 

Mrs. Woodbridge. [With her arm around 
Dick.] Begrudge you? — 

Herbert. I didn't mean you should have seen 
me. I meant to have just spoken to Dick, and 
then stolen away. 

Mrs. Woodbridge. You didn't want me to see 
you? 

Herbert. No. 



390 LOVERS' LANE 

Mrs. Woodbridge. I understand you came 
back for Mary Larkin, and you find she belongs 
to Dr. Singleton ? 

Herbert. Not belongs — Lucy — Mrs. — 

Mrs. Woodbridge. Why not? They love 
each other — 

Herbert. But she just told me he loves you. 

Mrs. Woodbridge. Me? — Oh, no! What 
made her tell you that ? 

Herbert. I don't know. 

Mrs. Woodbridge. Then it wasn't for her you 
came back ? 

Herbert. No. I came back for you ! 

[Mrs. Woodbridge starts. 

Mrs. Woodbridge. For me? Is it true — is 
it true — ■ [The tears come to her eyes. 

Herbert. [Leads her to the bench, and sits beside 
her.] Am I worth trying to save? 



LOVERS' LANE 39^ 

[Mrs. Woodbridge nods her head, '' Fe5."] 

Herbert. [Taking her hand gently.] Lucy — I 
don't deserve it. I have turned over a new leaf, 
and with you to help me, I'll never turn this page 
back. [There is a pause. 

Mrs. Woodbridge. [Withdraws her hand, and 
rises.] Won't you come and walk with Dick and 
me down Lovers' Lane? 

Herbert. [Hesitating and smiling at Dick.] 
Yes — yes — or — no — we'll make a chair — 
have you forgotten ? 

[They cross hands, forming a saddle, and kneel so 
Dick can reach. 

Mrs. Woodbridge. Now — sit down. Put one 
arm around mother's neck and one arm around — 

Herbert. Mine — there — that's a dandy 
chair for you — 

l77/rv lift him up and carry him through the gate. 



3Q2 LOVERS' LANE 

down Lovers^ Lane. Mrs. Brown, Miss 
Mealey and Mattie enter from house. 

Mrs. Brown. I must say, it has seemed real 
good to be sitting in the Parsonage again. 

Mattie. Well — I'm sure you've your own 
self to thank for not having been here oftener — ! 
[Calling to the house.] Simplicity ! What's got 
into the child? 

[Simplicity enters, holding one hand behind her 
back. 

Mattie. Take your thumb out of your mouth ! 
Well, where on earth have you been? 

Simplicity. Up in the garret. 

Mattie. What were you doing up there? 

Simplicity. Sitting in a corner. 

Mattie. Good land ! — where's Mrs. Brown's 
parasol — she says she gave it to you to put away 
for her — 



LOVERS' LANE 393 

Simplicity. [Takes the parasol from behind her 
back. Mattie grabs it and hands it to Mrs. 
Brown.] I took it upstairs with me without 
thinking — I'm sorry — 

Mattie. She says she's sorry ! What's come 
over the child? 

Mrs. Brown. You ain't sick, air you, Simple? 

Simplicity. No, marm. [Running to the gate.] 
I'll open the gate fur yer. 

Mrs. Brown. [Going to the gate.] Thank you, 
Simple. 

Miss Mealey. And the Circle can meet here 
next Thursday ? 

Mattie. I suppose so. 

Miss Mealey. Thank you ever so much, Miss 
Mattie. Good-by. 

Mattie. Good-by. 

Mrs. Brown. [Outside the gate.] Good-by ! 



394 LOVERS' LANE 

[Goes down Lovers' Lane. Mattie goes into 
the house. 

Miss Me ale y. [To Simplicity.] What a big 
girl you're gettin', Simple — you'll be havin' a 
beau soon, takin' you home from church. 

[Goes out, laughing. 

Simplicity. [Closing the gate.] I don't want 
any beau. 

[The Minister enters from the house with a letter. 

Minister. [Looks over to where the easel stood.] 
Miss Larkin — has she finished already? I'll ask 
Mattie. 

[Going toward the house. 

Simplicity. [Calls after him.] Pops — 

Minister. Hello — what is it ? 

Simplicity. Who are you looking for, Pops? 

Minister. Miss Larkin. 

Simplicity. What do you want her for, Pops? 



LOVERS' LANE 395 

Minister. I've got a letter that'll interest her. 
The young man that wants to marry her will be 
here to-day. 

Simplicity. Oh — Pops ! Mrs. Brown and 
Miss Mealey have been here, to have the Sewing 
Circle meet here again. 

Minister. You don't say so ! 

Simplicity. And I believe you're going ter get 
your church back again. 

Minister. Simple, I'd rather have that than 
anything else in the world — except one other 
thing — 

Simplicity. I don't suppose that other thing's 
me — is it, Pops? 

Minister. No — I've got you, anyway. We 
can't have everything we want in this world. 

Simplicity. I know that too. Pops. Which 
would you rather have. Pops — the church or her ? 



396 LOVERS' LANE 

Minister. You mustn't tempt me, Simple, 
with such questions. 

Simplicity. Pops — why isn't there a com- 
mandment, "Thou shalt not lie"? 

Minister. Perhaps the Lord didn't think one 
necessary, Simple. 

Simplicity. Then he doesn't know me. 
"Thou shalt not lie, or thou shalt wish thou were 
dead." Pops, did you ever tell a lie? 

Minister. Yes, a good many when I was little. 

Simplicity. Oh, Pops — I'm so glad ! Lies 
that hurt other people? 

Minister. No, they hurt only myself. 

[Mattie cotnes from the house. Brown enters 
from the gate. 

Mr. Brown. [Over the gate.] Good morning, 
Doctor. 

Minister. Good morning. 



LOVERS' LANE 397 

Mattie. Good morning. Come in — the 
gate's open. 

Mr. Brown. [Surprised, enters, looks back at the 
gate and sJiakcs his head gladly.] Glad to hear it — • 

Simplicity. Pops, I'm going down into the 
orchard. If you'll give me Miss Larkin's letter, 
I'll give it to her. 

Minister. I forgot all about it — she'll be 
anxious to know ! Do, Simple ! 

[He gives her the letter. 

Simplicity. [Goes behind the tree, keeping her 
eyes on the Minister. She tears up the letter and 
throws it on the ground.] There ! 

[She runs of. 

Mr. Brown. Ahem ! [Very nervously.] Doc- 
tor — we — I — 

Minister. Yes ? 

Mattie. For goodness' sake — Mr. Brown, say 



398 LOVERS' LANE 

it right out, or I will ! [To Minister.] There's 
■ — there's a Council being held over there in the 
Sunday-school room to consider — can't you 
guess, Tom? 

Minister. I'm afraid to — 

Mattie. You needn't be — it's asking you to 
come back. 

Mr. Brown. [Still nervously.] I've come over 
to find out if you'll be hkely to accept. Of course, 
it ain't decided yet — it ain't been put to a vote, 
and we don't know exactly how the majority will 
stand, but I think you'll get it — 

Mattie. [Whispering to the Minister.] 
Frighten him a little — go on — don't jump at 
it — 

Minister. Well, Mr. Brown, there are a few 
points I'd hke to make about that paper you 
drew up. 



LOVERS' LANE 399 

IVIr. Brown. The Council has thought of that, 
and has decided what to do in case they ask your 
acceptance of the pulpit. 

Minister. First, how aljout my encouraging 
beggars, by giving old Aunt Melissy a home? 

Mr. Brown. We thought of trying to make up 
for that by making her an honorary member of 
the Ladies' Sewing Circle. 

Minister. Will you kindly make a note of 
that, Mr. Brown? And I would like to have her 
made Treasurer. 

Mr. Brown. [Startled.] Treasurer? Why, 
Mrs. Brown is Treas — 

Minister. I said Treasurer. Second, how 
about my having damaged the Orphan Asylums 
of the State— ? 

Mr. Brown. We've made certain arrange- 
ments with them, and each Asylum shall send 



400 LOVERS' LANE 

you a written application for the privilege of 
taking care of Simplicity. 

Minister. Very good. Of course we wouldn't 
think of parting with Simple, but I shall see 
that each one of the Asylums is supplied with 
a good, troublesome orphan in her place. But 
there is one really serious thing ^ the Council 
dared to accuse me of neglecting my duty. 

Mr. Brown. That, they realize, warn't true 
and warn't desarved? 

Minister. If they want me — 

Mr. Brown. Well? 

Minister. I'll Come back — 

Mr. Brown. [Shaking his hand heartily.] 
Thank you. Doctor — you'll come back — you'll 
come back — or, drat it, I'll give up my pew! 

[He hurries of through the gate. Mattie fans 
herself furiously with her apron. 



LOVERS' LANE 401 

Minister. Mattie! 

Mattie. [With excitement.] Eh? 

Minister. Kiss me. 

Mattie. [Kisses him. Half crying with joy, 
she fans furiously.] I'm so glad ! 

Minister. [With happy excitement, looking 
down Lovers' Lane.] Do you think the Council 
will call me? 

Mattie. If they don't, I'll burst — [The 
Minister walks up and down with emotion^ 
I'm going into the house to work, or I can't 
stand it. [She goes into the house. 

Simplicity. [Comes through the orchard, lead- 
ing Mary, who is very nervous.] You hide behind 
that tree — anyone can tell the whole thing by 
your face. [Mary hides. Then Simplicity turns 
to Minister, stolidly.] Pops — I'm a liar — 

Minister. [Stunned.] Good gracious. Simple ! 



402 LOVERS' LANE 

Simplicity. [Standing her ground.] It's true. 
And I've come to tell you that I'm going back 
to the Asylum for punishment. 

[She starts to go. He catches her by her dress 
and holds her fast. 

Minister. Never, Simple, never — I wouldn't 
let you ! 

Simplicity. Do you forgive me for the lie? 

Minister. Yes. 

Simplicity. But it hurt you. 

Minister. Me? [Surprised. 

Simplicity. Oh, you don't forgive that — 
[Crying.] You don't forgive that? 

Minister. [Beseechingly.] Yes, I do, dear, 
yes, I do ! 

Simplicity. Then kiss me. [He kisses her, 
watching her wonderingly .] I'm so sorry — I'm 
so sorry — but I've owned up, Pops — I've 



LOVERS' LANE 403 

owned up ! [She goes to the tree and brings Mary 
to the Minister.] Look what I've brought you. 

Minister. [Bewildered.] Where's Herbert? 

Mary. [Shyly.] With Mrs. Woodbridge. 

Minister. With Mrs. Woodbridge? 

Mary. Yes, it was for her he came back. 

Minister. And you? 

Mary. [Hesitating.] Simplicity says — 

Simplicity. I told her — I told her — 

[She moves away to the tree, but watches them 
wistfully. 

Minister. [Whispering to Mary.] That I 
love you — 

Mary. No, that / love you. 

Minister. Will you say "yes"? 

Mary. With all my heart. 

[He clasps her hands in his. 

Mattie. [From the window above.] For the 



404 LOVERS' LANE 

land's sake, look at old Deacon Perkins trying 

to run across the field ! 

Simplicity. [Running out of the gate.\ Just 
look — there's Mr. Brown and Deacon Steele 
and Mrs. Brown and a lot of them all running 
over here. 

[The Minister and Mary laugh and run toward 
the gate to see. As Brown approaches, 
followed by Mrs. Brown, Molly Mealey, 
Mrs. Steele, Mrs. Jennings, and Deacon 
Steele, Mattie comes from the house with 
Bridget, and the schoolchildren run in 
through the gate, all out of breath. 
Mr. Brown. [^4/ the gate.] When I motion, 
throw up your hat, — -it's the signal for Uncle 
Bill to ring the bell. [To Minister, ivilh sat- 
isfaction.] They're all a-comin'. The vote's 
unanimous — will you say " yes " ? 



LOVERS' LANE 40S 

Minister. With all my heart ! 

Brown. [Excitedly shaking hands.] Hooray ! 

[He throws up his hat. The church hell rings. 
Mattie, Simplicity — all join in, cheering and 
shaking hands with each other all around, as 

THE CURTAIN FALLS 



